best graduation speeches funny

15 Funniest Graduation Speeches That Left Audiences in Stitches

Graduation is a milestone filled with mixed emotions, from excitement to nostalgia. While many speeches aim to inspire, some stand out for their humor and wit, making the occasion even more memorable.

In this article, we’ll dive into the funniest graduation speeches that have left audiences laughing and celebrating. These speeches, delivered by celebrities, comedians, and even students, showcase how humor can transform a traditional address into a highlight of the ceremony. Get ready to laugh and be inspired by these unforgettable moments.

15 Funniest Graduation Speeches

1. ellen degeneres’ hilarious graduation speech.

Ellen DeGeneres , known for her quick wit and relatable humor, delivered a memorable and side-splitting graduation speech at Tulane University in 2009. Her address combined humor with heartfelt advice, leaving a lasting impression on graduates and their families.

Overview of the Speech

Ellen began by acknowledging the unique challenges the graduates faced, particularly in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. She quickly transitioned into her signature comedic style, joking about her own less-than-traditional path to success. Her humor was a blend of self-deprecation, witty observations, and playful remarks that had the audience in stitches.

She humorously recounted her unconventional career path, which included dropping out of college and working odd jobs before finding success in comedy. This mix of humor and honesty reassured graduates uncertain about their futures.

Memorable Quotes

“When I was asked to make the commencement speech, I immediately said yes. Then I went to look up what ‘commencement’ meant.”

“Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that.”

2. Will Ferrell’s Unexpectedly Funny Address

Will Ferrell, renowned for his comedic talent and versatility, delivered an unexpectedly hilarious graduation speech at the University of Southern California in 2017. Known for his roles in movies like “Anchorman” and “Elf,” Ferrell brought his unique brand of humor to the commencement ceremony, creating an unforgettable experience for graduates and their families.

Ferrell began with a mix of genuine gratitude and his signature humor, thanking the university for the honorary doctorate. He quickly moved into jokes and anecdotes that had the audience laughing from the start.

Ferrell humorously reflected on his college experiences and early struggles in the entertainment industry, blending humor with sincere advice. His playful exaggerations and unexpected comedic twists, such as claiming a fake ID got him into USC parties, highlighted his knack for turning mundane details into laugh-out-loud moments.

“I would like to begin with the opening line from my favorite movie, ‘Love Story’: ‘Where do I begin? To tell the story of how great a love can be…'”

“I was scared. I was really scared. I thought, ‘What if I can’t do this?’ But I did it. And you can too.”

“To those of you graduates sitting out there who have a pretty good idea of what you’d like to do with your life, congratulations. For most of you who maybe don’t have it all figured out, that’s okay. That’s the same chair that I sat in.”

“Trust your gut, keep throwing darts at the dartboard. Don’t listen to the critics, and you will figure it out.”

3. Donovan Livingston’s Stand-Up Comedy Skills

Donovan Livingston’s speech at the Harvard Graduate School of Education convocation in 2016 was a unique blend of spoken word poetry and stand-up comedy, captivating the audience with his passionate and humorous delivery. His address, titled “Lift Off,” combined powerful social commentary with relatable humor, making it one of the most memorable graduation speeches in recent years.

Livingston’s speech began with a compelling spoken word poem that addressed the challenges and triumphs of education. He seamlessly integrated humor into his poignant message, using comedic timing and clever wordplay to engage the audience. His ability to switch between heartfelt reflections and humorous anecdotes kept the audience captivated and entertained throughout his speech.

“Education then, beyond all other devices of human origin, is the great equalizer of the conditions of men. But if we are to be equal, it must be equitable.”

“At the core of my work is a question. I want to ask you today: ‘What will your verse be?’”

“For some, the only difference between a classroom and a cell is the ability to exit.”

“I was in seventh grade when Ms. Parker told me, ‘Donovan, we could put all your potential into a bottle and you would still have enough to fill another.'”

4. David McCullough Jr.’s Witty and Heartfelt Graduation Speech

David McCullough Jr., an English teacher at Wellesley High School, delivered a witty and heartfelt graduation speech in 2012 that quickly went viral. His address, famously known as the “You Are Not Special” speech, struck a perfect balance between humor and sincerity, challenging graduates to rethink their notions of specialness and success.

McCullough’s speech began with a series of humorous observations about the graduation ceremony itself, immediately capturing the audience’s attention. He then delivered a powerful message, using wit and irony to make his points. His humor was intelligent and sharp, often catching the audience off guard with its depth and insight. McCullough’s ability to blend wit with heartfelt advice made his speech both entertaining and profoundly impactful.

“You are not special. You are not exceptional.”

“Think about this: even if you’re one in a million, on a planet of 6.8 billion, that means there are nearly 7,000 people just like you.”

“Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air, and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you.”

“Exercise free will and creative, independent thought not for the accolades, but for the act itself.”

5. Barack Obama’s Surprisingly Humorous Address

Barack Obama, known for his eloquence and gravitas, surprised many with his humor during his commencement address at Rutgers University in 2016. His speech combined his signature insightful commentary with unexpected bursts of humor, engaging the audience and making his points memorable.

Obama began by acknowledging the achievements of the graduates, quickly setting a light-hearted tone with humorous remarks about New Jersey and its stereotypes. Throughout his speech, he intertwined jokes and witty observations with serious advice about civic engagement, democracy, and the importance of a well-informed citizenry. His humor was both self-deprecating and pointed, often poking fun at himself and current events.

“In fact, I think we can all agree that I deserve a little extra credit for having the courage to speak after the Boss.”

“When you hear someone longing for the ‘good old days,’ take it with a grain of salt.”

“America’s progress has been driven by young people like you who are unafraid to push boundaries and ask questions.”

“My advice to you is simple: Don’t take yourself too seriously. But take your work and your responsibilities seriously.”

6. Amy Poehler’s Comic Relief Speech

Amy Poehler, a beloved comedian and actress, brought her comedic genius to Harvard University’s Class Day speech in 2011. Her address was filled with her trademark humor and wit, delivering life advice with a light-hearted touch that resonated deeply with the graduates.

Poehler started her speech with self-deprecating humor about her own college experience, immediately engaging the audience. She used her comedic timing to weave in jokes about the trials and tribulations of post-college life, while also imparting valuable advice. Her anecdotes were relatable and hilarious, often poking fun at the absurdities of adulthood and the pressure to succeed.

“You can’t do it alone. As you navigate through the rest of your life, be open to collaboration.”

“Take your risks now. As you grow older, you become more fearful and less flexible.”

“When you feel scared, hold someone’s hand and look into their eyes. And when you feel brave, do the same thing.”

“Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you, spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life.”

7. J.K. Rowling’s Humorous Anecdotes

J.K. Rowling, the famed author of the Harry Potter series, delivered a commencement address at Harvard University in 2008 that blended her sharp wit with profound insights. Her speech, titled “The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination,” was a masterful mix of humor and heartfelt storytelling.

Rowling opened with a humorous confession about her nerves and the daunting task of addressing such a prestigious audience. She then shared amusing anecdotes from her own life, including her early struggles as a writer and the fears she faced after graduating. Her humor was often self-deprecating, making her relatable and endearing to the audience.

“I have wracked my mind and heart for what I ought to say to you today. I have asked myself what I wish I had known at my own graduation, and what important lessons I have learned in the 21 years that have expired between that day and this.”

“The fact that you are graduating from Harvard suggests that you are not very well-acquainted with failure.”

“Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it.”

“We do not need magic to transform our world. We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.”

8. Dolly Parton’s Lighthearted Graduation Speech

Dolly Parton, the iconic singer-songwriter, brought her signature warmth and humor to the commencement speech she delivered at the University of Tennessee in 2009. Known for her quick wit and down-to-earth personality, Parton’s speech was filled with humorous anecdotes and heartfelt advice.

Parton began her address by sharing her excitement about returning to her home state and speaking to the graduates. She used her humor to put the audience at ease, telling stories about her own experiences growing up in Tennessee and her unconventional path to success. Her speech was a delightful mix of lighthearted jokes and motivational messages, reflecting her unique ability to connect with people from all walks of life.

“My daddy was so proud when I graduated, he said, ‘Dolly, you’re the only person in the family to ever graduate… and you didn’t even have to go to school to do it!'”

“The road to success is always under construction.”

“Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”

“If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.”

9. Katie Couric’s Witty Graduation Address

Katie Couric, the renowned journalist and television personality, delivered a witty and engaging commencement speech at the University of Wisconsin-Madison in 2015. Known for her sharp wit and insightful commentary, Couric’s speech was a perfect blend of humor and practical advice.

Couric began her address by sharing humorous observations about the campus and her own experiences in journalism. She used her wit to engage the audience, making light-hearted jokes about current events and the challenges facing graduates. Her speech was filled with relatable anecdotes and practical wisdom, delivered with a touch of humor that kept the audience entertained and attentive.

“Graduates, I hope you all take a page out of Wisconsin’s playbook: Jump Around.”

“No job is beneath you. If you’re a journalist, don’t whine if you’re assigned an obituary. Go out and find out who that person really was and what he or she meant to their family and community.”

“Be fearless. Have the courage to take risks. Go where there are no guarantees.”

“Just remember that you’re only as happy as your least happy child. So keep them smiling.”

10. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s Playful Graduation Speech

Image source: Pinterest

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, the charismatic actor and former professional wrestler, delivered a playful and inspiring commencement speech at the University of Miami in 2015. Known for his larger-than-life persona and motivational messages, Johnson’s speech was a blend of humor, personal stories, and powerful advice.

Johnson began his speech with playful jokes about his time at the University of Miami and his early career struggles. He used his humor to connect with the graduates, sharing funny anecdotes about his journey from a college athlete to a global superstar. His speech was filled with motivational messages, encouraging the graduates to embrace their challenges and pursue their dreams with determination and resilience.

“You’re going to get your ass kicked. And you’ve got to get up. You’ve got to have faith that the one thing you wanted to happen, oftentimes is the best thing that never happened.”

“I had a crisis of identity. I wasn’t wrestler Rock. I wasn’t movie star Rock. I wasn’t college football player The Rock. I didn’t know who I was.”

“Always remember that regardless of what is written about you, always be proud of who you are and what you’ve accomplished.”

“There is no substitute for hard work.”

11. Bill Nye’s Surprisingly Funny Speech

Bill Nye, the beloved science educator and television personality, delivered a surprisingly funny and insightful commencement speech at Rutgers University in 2015. Known for making science fun and accessible, Nye’s speech was a delightful mix of humor, scientific wisdom, and motivational advice.

Nye began his speech with humorous remarks about his iconic status as “The Science Guy” and the cultural impact of his show. He used his trademark humor to engage the audience, making jokes about scientific principles and his own experiences. Nye seamlessly blended humor with important messages about climate change, scientific literacy, and the importance of critical thinking.

“I learned to love science because I was born curious. I want you to be curious. Ask questions.”

“Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.”

“Change the world. You all can. You all will. You all must.”

“You have to make big plans. Big plans are small plans that have been scaled up.”

12. Sheryl Sandberg’s Comical Graduation Address

Sheryl Sandberg, the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook and author of “Lean In,” delivered a comical and inspiring graduation speech at the University of California, Berkeley in 2016. Known for her leadership and advocacy for women in the workplace, Sandberg’s address was a heartfelt blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and motivational advice.

Sandberg began her speech with light-hearted jokes about her own college experiences and the differences between her generation and the current one. She used humor to make the audience feel at ease, sharing funny stories about her career and the tech industry. Sandberg’s speech also touched on serious topics, including resilience and the importance of leaning in to life’s challenges, all while maintaining a humorous and relatable tone.

“When I was at Harvard, I got a job as a research assistant. My parents were thrilled. They assumed it was an academic research job. It wasn’t. I was helping a law professor research for a book. The book was on why corporate compensation packages are too big. The research consisted of him calling his corporate lawyer friends and them telling him they weren’t.”

“I hope you find true meaning, contentment, and joy in your life. If you can find that and laugh along the way, the world will be a better place.”

“The upside of painful knowledge is so much greater than the downside of blissful ignorance.”

“Lean in to your struggles. Lean in to your fears. Lean in to your friends.”

13. Steve Jobs’ Humorous Graduation Speech

Steve Jobs, the visionary co-founder of Apple Inc., delivered a memorable and humorous commencement address at Stanford University in 2005. Known for his innovative spirit and entrepreneurial success, Jobs’ speech was a compelling mix of humor, personal anecdotes, and life-changing advice.

Jobs began his speech by humorously acknowledging that this was the closest he had ever gotten to a college graduation. He shared three personal stories, each filled with humor and valuable lessons. Jobs used his wit to reflect on his journey, from dropping out of college to founding Apple, and the ups and downs along the way. His humor was subtle yet impactful, making his profound messages more relatable and engaging.

“The closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation was at a calligraphy class I attended after I dropped out.”

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”

“Stay hungry, stay foolish.”

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”

14. Joe Biden’s Comedic Graduation Speech

Joe Biden, the 47th Vice President of the United States, delivered a comedic and heartfelt graduation speech at Yale University in 2015. Known for his approachable personality and sense of humor, Biden’s address was a delightful mix of personal anecdotes, humor, and meaningful advice.

Biden began his speech with humorous remarks about his own college days and the unique culture at Yale. He used his charm and wit to connect with the audience, sharing funny stories about his family and political career. Despite the humor, Biden’s speech also touched on serious themes, including the importance of integrity, resilience, and the value of relationships.

“I’m probably the only Irish Catholic you know who had his dream come true when he was elected vice president and his mother said, ‘Look, it’s okay, Joey, it’s okay.'”

“It’s your turn now to take up the legacy. Take up the banner and march forward.”

“Don’t take yourself too seriously. You are about to graduate from one of the finest universities in the world. But remember, humility is key.”

“Failure at some point in your life is inevitable, but giving up is unforgivable.”

15. David McCullough’s Witty Graduation Address

David McCullough, the Pulitzer Prize-winning historian and author, delivered a witty and insightful graduation speech at Boston College in 2008. Known for his eloquent storytelling and deep understanding of American history, McCullough’s speech was a masterful blend of humor, wisdom, and motivational advice.

McCullough began his address with humorous observations about the graduation ceremony and the journey ahead for the graduates. He used his wit to engage the audience , sharing funny anecdotes from history and his own life. McCullough’s speech was filled with thoughtful reflections on the importance of history, learning, and the pursuit of excellence, all delivered with a touch of humor that kept the audience entertained.

“One of the great things about graduation is that it’s a reminder of how short life is. It goes by in the blink of an eye. One minute you’re 22, the next minute you’re 82.”

“History is a guide to navigation in perilous times. History is who we are and why we are the way we are.”

“Real success is finding your lifework in the work that you love.”

“Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age.”

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7 Tips on How to Write a Graduation Speech

Graduation day is one of life’s most memorable milestones, and giving a speech can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. If you’re wondering how to deliver a message that resonates, you’re in the right place. This guide will walk you through how to write a graduation speech that captures the essence of your journey, celebrates achievements,…

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30 Graduation Speeches Designed to Make You Laugh More Than Cry

Want to learn to give a great speech with a little humor here are 30 great examples..

If you're successful, chances are you're called on sometimes to make speeches . Maybe you love speaking in front of a crowd ; maybe you don't. Regardless, a lot of people will tell you that if you want to get on the right side of the crowd right away, start with a little humor.

I'm not sure that's always the best way ever to give a speech , but if you're up for it, you're in luck. It's that time of year--commencement speech time--and we've pulled out 30 well-honed speeches with laugh lines that worked (and in a few cases, even inspired).

(This column is part of my year-long, monthly series, 366 Quotes for 2016 . Impatient? Want to get all 366 quotes I came up with back at the start of the year? Just click here to download them .)

1. "...The first thing I would like to say is 'thank you.' Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honor, but the weeks of fear and nausea I have endured at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation! Now all I have to do is take deep breaths, squint at the red banners and convince myself that I am at the world's largest Gryffindor reunion."

--J.K. Rowling

2. "Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there."

-- Will Rogers

3. "So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it."

-- Bill Watterson

4. "Remember that there's no one way of doing things. You know how when you unscrew something it's 'righty tighty, lefty loosey'? If you just get a hammer and hit it really hard, whatever it is, I guarantee you it'll open."

-- Fred Armisen

5. "I did fail. Time and time again. I was too short for this or too strange for that. I even had one casting director for a movie say "he'll never work in comedy." I was taking my punches but I was in the fight. That's a metaphor of course, I highly doubt I have any ability to take an actual punch."

-- Charlie Day

6. "Try putting your iPhones down every once in a while and look at people's faces."

-- Amy Poehler

7. "So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you're on the right track."

-- Ed Helms

8. "Pursue whatever it is that you want to do with your life. It is the only secret to happiness that I know except for maybe true love, that and maybe having the amazing health insurance plan that our congressmen have."

-- Lewis Black

9. "You're about to enter into a world filled with hypocrisy and doublespeak, a world in which your limo to the airport is often a half-hour late. In addition to not even being a limo at all; often times it's a Lincoln Town Car. You're about to enter a world where you ask your new assistant, Jamie, to bring you a tall, non-fat latte. And he comes back with a short soy cappuccino. Guess what, Jamie? You're fired. Not too hard to get right, my friend...."

--Will Ferrell

10. "Go to it. Be bold. Be true. Be kind. Rotate your tires. Don't drink so much. There aren't going to be enough liver transplants to go around."

-- Richard Russo

11. "If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments."

-- Earl Wilson

12. "I don't even remember who the speaker was at my graduation. I remember squinting a lot and a vague sense that I would never again be around so many attractive, available young people in my life. It is my solemn duty to inform you that that fear is entirely well founded. This is coming from a guy who works in Hollywood, by the way."

-- Bradley Whitford

13. "I'd like to begin by thanking the class marshals for inviting me here today. The last time I was invited to Harvard it cost me $110,000. So I was reluctant to show up. "

-- Conan OBrien

14. "So I turned 40 years old one day. And you know what happened? I turned 41. THEN, I turned 42! And it just kept on going, just like that, the number kept going up! Wait! Wait! Somebody press the pause button! I just got used to being 40!"

-- Jane Lynch

15. "There's few things that get you over your own crap more than working hard."

-- Adam Savage

16. "The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective."

-- Jon Stewart

17. "Let's talk about the future, your future. A lot of you are probably worried about employment. Unfortunately most of you will end up getting jobs, especially now that you have the burden of a degree. You are the elite. You will be tomorrow's captains of industry. Sitting in front of me is probably the next Bill Gates, Donald Trump or even Ronald McDonald."

-- Sasha Baron Cohen (as Ali G)

18. "My favorite animal is the turtle. The reason is that in order for the turtle to move, it has to stick its neck out."

-- Ruth Westheimer

19. "I want to thank you for bestowing upon me this Honorary Doctorate of Amphibious Letters. To tell you the truth, I never even knew there was such a thing as "Amphibious" Letters. After all those years on Sesame Street, you'd think I'd know my alphabet. It just goes to show that you can teach an old frog new tricks."

-- Kermit T. Frog

20. "Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that."

-- Ellen Degeneres

21. "It really is a true honor to be with all of you...as you embark on this exciting and challenging journey of being sober during the day."

-- Maya Rudolph

22. "You will never have more energy or enthusiasm, hair, or brain cells than you have today."

-- Tom and Ray Magliozzi

23. "If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."

-- Bette Reese

24. "Now I usually try not to give advice. Information, yes, advice, no. But, what has worked for me may not work for you. Well, take for instance what has worked for me. Wigs. Tight clothes. Push-up bras."

-- Dolly Parton

25. "My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn't believe that that was possible for him. So he made a conservative choice instead. He got a safe job as an accountant. And when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job, and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love."

-- JimCarrey

26. "They are all nerds, all of you, except here's the difference. You are the nerds who are going to make some serious bank, which is why I am here today ... to marry the best-looking amongst you."

-- Mindy Kaling

27. "Now that you've graduated, just remember: Bosses don't usually accept notes from your mother."

-- Melanie White

28. "Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along."

-- Steven Colbert

29. "Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated."

-- Garry Trudeau

30. "I don't think there's anything certainly more unseemly than the sight of a rock star in academic robes. It's a bit like when people put their King Charles spaniels in little tartan sweats and hats. It's not natural, and it doesn't make the dog any smarter..."

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Funny Graduation Speeches

There is nothing like a hilarious commencement speech. It might seem easy to pull off since, after all, graduation is one big party celebration. However, when you tally them, in the past ten years, there are really only a few funny graduation speeches. Here below is the list of some of the funniest commencement addresses I know of. Sit back, relax, and enjoy!

Home » Ideas » 51 Best Graduation Speech Ideas (Serious, Funny, etc.)

51 Best Graduation Speech Ideas (Serious, Funny, etc.)

Presenting a graduation speech is both exciting and a bit terrifying. You are both the first and last high school voice many in your audience will hear. You will be speaking to your fellow graduates, parents, teachers, and extended family members, so your speech must be understandable to everyone. You need to engage your listeners immediately and share a speech that is both enjoyable and informative. To be successful, you must remember that the key to creating a graduation speech that is both memorable and enjoyable is preparation. We will walk you through the process, discussing the different types of graduation speeches, how to pick a theme for your graduation speech, and how to write and deliver your graduation speech.

Table of Contents

Types of Graduation Speeches

You probably will not be the only speaker to take the podium. When it is your turn, you want your speech to grab your audience’s attention and keep it. Think about the last few years of your schooling, the general personality of your class members, and what makes your educational experience unique. Graduation speeches can be divided into several different categories:

Serious Graduation Speeches

Inspirational graduation speeches, funny graduation speeches.

Begin by brainstorming about your experience in school, asking the question: What has my school experience taught me and my fellow students about life, facing problems, and growing up? Then consider choosing one of the following upon which to base your speech:

Life Lessons

Students do not only learn subject matter in school. School teaches one how to relate to others, that hard work leads to success, and that you get the most out of any endeavor if you give it 100%. Some good speech ideas if you wish to talk about life lessons are:

• The Most Important Lesson I Learned in School
• Let’s Remain Lifelong Friends
• The Importance of Taking Risks

Facing and Overcoming Problems

Simply talking about the problems your graduating class has encountered leads to a depressing speech but recounting how those problems were overcome can be inspiring and uplifting. You may have lost a beloved teacher or fellow student, had an extreme weather experience that damaged the school, or had fundraisers for much needed supplies and equipment. Consider the following speech topics if you wish to talk about overcoming adversity.

• Never Give Up!
• Learn from Your Mistakes
• Remember This?

High school graduation frequently is the beginning of adulthood. Maturity involves being able to make good decisions, accepting responsibility, and being willing to be held accountable for our actions. Making comparisons about how you and your classmates behaved as freshmen and the changes you have made now that you are seniors makes for an interesting and fun graduation speech. Some speech ideas that deal with maturity are:

• Be Yourself
• Facing the Next Big Challenge

You may decide the best speech for your audience is one that will inspire them. You can move your audience to have an emotional response with one of the following:

• Reflections and Memoirs Looking back on your high school years and the changes you and your classmates have been through is an excellent way to create a speech that perfectly ends your high school years.
• Expression of Gratitude Thanking your parents, teachers, friends, and family members for support and assistance throughout your education careers can end with a standing ovation. Additionally, you may wish to have graduates present a flower to the person who helped them the most.
• Inspiring Quote Beginning your speech with an inspirational quote from a famous person or even a Bible verse can set the tone for your speech and provide a coherent theme.
• Song Lyric If you and your classmates have a popular song that most of you know and love, use some of the lyrics to create your theme. You might wish to quote the lyrics at the beginning of your speech and then close by playing a few verses for your audience
• Inspiring Story Use a popular media story or a few about inspiring class members, maybe one or two that overcame an obstacle to be successful.
• Anecdotes and Stories about Your Class Sharing some funny and serious stories about your class members sets the foundation for a fun speech. Just make sure the stories are uplifting and do not cause anyone embarrassment. The goal is to show how bonded your class has become.
• Student Accomplishments If you have one or more students or a sports team that made an impact on the school, sharing their accomplishments can provide a truly inspirational speech. Emphasize how their accomplishments strengthened the entire class.

If you are known for your sense of humor, you may wish to try a humorous graduation speech. Humor is never boring, if you have the talent for delivering this type of speech. Consider using one of the following approaches:

• Pick Appropriate Jokes Sprinkling a few jokes throughout your speech can keep your audience’s attention and provide a bit of humor. Consider some takes on why the chicken crossed the road or some silly knock-knock jokes.
• Use Funny Inspirational Quotes A quick google search for funny inspirational quotes will provide fodder for your topic. You could reminisce about your class after quoting, “Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.” (Abraham Lincoln)
• Use Irony Reference something surprising, such as a popular song, movie, or activity. For example, “Life Is Like a Monopoly Game.”
• Tell a Funny Story Specific to Your School Make sure your story is audience appropriate and they will relate to it. Telling a story about yourself, perhaps about a time in school when you failed, can provide humor.
• Poke Fun at the “Traditional” Graduation Speech Although it can be difficult to write, if done well, this speech is very funny. Use some of the clichés such as “dream big,” “never give up,” and “you are the future” as a springboard for your humorous speech. Speak slowly and distinctly, so that your audience can here every word. If people are laughing, stop talking for minute. You want your audience to have an opportunity to respond to your humor.

Graduation Speech Themes

Your graduation speech theme will help you tie all your ideas together. Your speech should last at least five minutes, but not longer than ten to twelve. Keep this in mind as you brainstorm ideas to pick a theme for your speech. Below we have listed some common graduation speech themes that have worked well for others. Remember that no matter which theme you choose, you can make your speech unique with personalized content – content that your audience can relate to.

• Who Are You?
• Believe in Yourself
• Be an Original, Not a Carbon Copy
• Step Up and Out
• Striving on to Perfection
• Learn from Other’s Mistakes
• Live in the Moment
• You Are What You Believe
• What I Learned in High School
• What Comes Next?
• Take a Leap of Faith
• Our Class United When
• Set Goals for Success
• Giving Back
• Follow Your Dreams
• High School Mistakes I Learned From
• Why I Don’t Want to Leave High School
• My Best High School Memories
• Overcoming Obstacles
• The Importance of School
• Never Stop Learning

8th Grade Graduation Speech

If you are in middle school and have been chosen to present an 8th grade graduation speech, keep your speech simple and short – not longer than five minutes – and follow the following format:

• Greet the audience.
• Introduce yourself.
• Reflect on your time in middle school highlighting a few special moments.
• Talk a bit about future expectations for your class.
• Thank your teachers, fellow students, and parents.
• Conclude your speech with a quote, Bible verse, or line from a song or poem.

High School Graduation Speech

Giving the high school commencement speech is truly an honor. If you are chosen to represent your classmates, choose a theme that reflects your personality and one you feel comfortable addressing because you know your topic well. Make sure you practice before the big occasion and memorize as much of your speech as possible. Have clear notes with you in case you forget something. Use engaging gestures, look at your audience, and speak in a slow, yet natural, pace.

Get your audiences attention with a quotation, anecdote, or a clever joke. Make sure your theme is clear and that all your content is cohesive and concise. Illustrate your theme with a story or example, reminiscing about the times you and your classmates enjoyed.

A high school graduation speech should last about ten minutes. Close your speech by thanking your audience; fellow students, parents, and teachers. Tie together the points you have presented during your speech and end with a clever statement your audience will remember.

How to Write a Graduation Speech?

Writing your graduation speech will be much easier if you have a plan. Our step-by-step guide on how to write a graduation speech will walk you through the entire process.

• Brainstorm Ideas Begin by brainstorming ideas. Think about the future and what kind of challenges you and your fellow students may face after graduation. Consider your past school experiences, concentrating on those which are unique and interesting.
• Pick a Theme Your theme may become obvious as you list your brainstorming ideas. If not, check out the list of themes we have suggested and pick one that fits your experiences and personality.
• Stick with Your Theme. Do not allow yourself to include anything in your speech not related to your theme. Find a quote, song lyrics, or a popular news story related to your theme if you wish to include one.
• Build the Basic Structure of Your Speech After identifying the theme of your speech, begin to organize your speech by creating an outline: Welcome Introduce Topic (Theme) Give Example, Testimonial, or Tell a Story or Joke Add Originality Conclusion Thank Your Audience Leave Them with a One Line Summation

Delivering Your Graduation Speech

Once you have completed your graduation speech, you are ready to prepare for delivering it. Find out when on the program you will be speaking so you will be ready. Knowing if you are first, last, or somewhere in the middle of the program can help you feel more comfortable about delivering your speech. Adhere to all the following suggestions to make sure your speech is the best it can be.

• Memorize Your Speech Reading your speech can destroy the delivery, making you sound robotic and impersonal. You will probably want to have some notes but try to speak as much as possible from memory.
• Time Your Speech You may be told how long you have for your speech. If not, try not to talk no more than about ten minutes; a longer speech may not keep your listeners’ attention.
• Speak Slowly When one is nervous, they speak faster. Try to speak slowly and enunciate each word. Pause when necessary for an audience response to a joke or funny comment.
• Speak with Emotion Vary your tone of voice and match your emotions with your content.
• Make Eye Contact Look at your audience. If doing so makes you nervous, pick a spot on the wall at the back of the room and look at it as you speak. You can also pick out a few people in the audience you know and make eye contact with them.

Before you deliver your speech, practice, practice, practice! Deliver your speech to your family, the mirror, your dog – anyone that will listen. Ask for advice and take it. When you give your speech, if you make a mistake, repeat the sentence or word and keep going. Smile at your audience when appropriate. Your enthusiasm for your subject will be felt and enjoyed.

Finally, remember to have pictures or a video taken while you are giving your speech. You have earned the privilege of speaking for your entire class – a huge responsibility and one you will remember for years to come. Smile, have fun, and your audience will enjoy and remember your graduation speech.

Susan majored in English with a double minor in Humanities and Business at Arizona State University and earned a Master’s degree in Educational Administration from Liberty University. She taught grades four through twelve in both public and private schools. Subjects included English, U.S. and world history and geography, math, earth and physical science, Bible, information technologies, and creative writing.

Susan has been freelance writing for over ten years, during which time she has written and edited books, newspaper articles, biographies, book reviews, guidelines, neighborhood descriptions for realtors, Power Point presentations, resumes, and numerous other projects.

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Top 20 Graduation Speeches: Inspiring Words for Graduates

Graduation is one of those milestones that feels like the closing of one chapter and the opening of another. Whether you’re stepping out of high school, college, or university, the graduation speeches delivered on these days are often filled with wisdom, humor, and powerful messages. These speeches aren’t just a formality; they can be life-changing, offering guidance as you step into the unknown. Graduation speeches have a way of sticking with you, like a favorite song lyric that pops into your head just when you need it. Let’s dive into some of the top graduation speeches that have left an indelible mark on graduates.

What Makes a Graduation Speech Memorable?

Before we jump into the top graduation speeches, it’s worth pondering—what exactly makes a graduation speech unforgettable? Is it the speaker’s charisma, the message, or perhaps the way it resonates with the audience? Graduation speeches often combine a blend of humor, personal stories, and actionable advice. When a speaker can weave these elements together, the result is a speech that not only entertains but also enlightens.

Personal Stories and Relatability

Graduation speeches that include personal stories tend to connect more with the audience. These stories provide real-life examples of overcoming obstacles, making tough decisions, or finding one’s path. When a speaker shares their journey, it feels like they’re giving you a piece of their wisdom, something that you can carry with you long after the ceremony ends.

Humor and Wit

Let’s be honest, graduation ceremonies can be long and sometimes a bit tedious. A speaker who can inject humor into their speech is often a crowd favorite. A good laugh can break the ice, make the audience more receptive, and keep everyone engaged. But beyond the jokes, humor can also make serious advice more digestible. After all, life is full of ups and downs, and sometimes the best way to face challenges is with a smile.

Actionable Advice

While stories and humor are great, actionable advice is what graduates really need as they step into the next phase of their lives. Graduation speeches that offer practical tips—like how to handle failure, the importance of perseverance, or the value of kindness—provide graduates with tools they can use immediately. This advice becomes the roadmap as they navigate the post-graduation world.

Top Graduation Speeches That Left a Lasting Impact

There have been countless graduation speeches over the years, but a few stand out for their powerful messages and the impact they had on the audience. Let’s take a closer look at some of these iconic speeches.

Steve Jobs – Stanford University, 2005

Steve Jobs’ graduation speech at Stanford is often cited as one of the best graduation speeches of all time. His speech was deeply personal, touching on themes like love, loss, and the importance of following your passion. One of the most memorable lines from his speech is, “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.” Jobs’ speech continues to inspire graduates around the world, reminding them to stay true to themselves and their dreams.

J.K. Rowling – Harvard University, 2008

J.K. Rowling’s graduation speech at Harvard is another iconic moment in the world of graduation speeches. The author of the Harry Potter series shared her experiences of failure and how it eventually led to her success. Rowling’s message was clear: “It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all.” Her speech is a powerful reminder that failure is not something to be feared but rather embraced as a stepping stone to success.

Oprah Winfrey – Harvard University, 2013

Oprah Winfrey’s graduation speech at Harvard was a masterclass in blending humor, wisdom, and actionable advice. She spoke about the importance of finding your purpose and using it to make a difference in the world. One of the standout moments in her speech was when she said, “The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.” Oprah’s words continue to resonate with graduates, encouraging them to pursue their passions fearlessly.

David Foster Wallace – Kenyon College, 2005

David Foster Wallace’s graduation speech at Kenyon College, often referred to as “This is Water,” is considered one of the most thought-provoking graduation speeches ever given. Wallace challenged the graduates to think critically about their daily choices and how they shape their lives. His speech wasn’t filled with the usual clichés; instead, it offered a raw and honest perspective on the challenges of adult life. Wallace’s speech is a reminder that the little things in life matter and that being mindful can lead to a more fulfilling life.

Sheryl Sandberg – University of California, Berkeley, 2016

Sheryl Sandberg’s graduation speech at UC Berkeley focused on resilience and finding strength in the face of adversity. Following the tragic loss of her husband, Sandberg spoke candidly about her grief and how she learned to move forward. She encouraged graduates to “lean in” to their challenges and find growth through pain, emphasizing the importance of resilience and community support.

Barack Obama – Howard University, 2016

Former President Barack Obama delivered a powerful graduation speech at Howard University, where he emphasized the importance of civic engagement and the role of young people in shaping the future. Obama urged graduates to embrace their heritage and use their education to advocate for justice and equality. His speech was a call to action for a new generation of leaders to take up the mantle of change.

Ellen DeGeneres – Tulane University, 2009

Ellen DeGeneres’ graduation speech at Tulane was filled with humor and heartfelt advice. She shared her journey of self-acceptance and the challenges she faced as a gay woman in Hollywood. DeGeneres encouraged graduates to “follow their passions” and to live their lives with authenticity. Her speech was a reminder that being true to oneself is key to finding happiness and success.

Bill Gates – Harvard University, 2007

Bill Gates’ graduation speech at Harvard, delivered three decades after he dropped out, focused on the responsibility of the educated to address global inequality. Gates spoke about the power of innovation and philanthropy in solving some of the world’s biggest problems. He urged graduates to use their talents and resources to make a positive impact on the world, reminding them that “with great wealth comes great responsibility.”

Michelle Obama – Tuskegee University, 2015

Michelle Obama’s graduation speech at Tuskegee University addressed the unique challenges faced by African American students. She spoke openly about her own experiences with racism and the pressure of living up to others’ expectations. Obama encouraged graduates to define their own success and to never let others’ perceptions limit their potential. Her speech was a powerful message of empowerment and resilience.

Neil Gaiman – University of the Arts, 2012

Author Neil Gaiman’s speech at the University of the Arts was a celebration of creativity and the importance of pursuing one’s passion. Gaiman encouraged graduates to “make good art,” even in the face of failure or adversity. His speech was both practical and inspirational, offering advice on how to navigate the uncertainties of a creative career while staying true to one’s artistic vision.

Admiral William H. McRaven – University of Texas, Austin, 2014

Admiral William H. McRaven’s graduation speech at the University of Texas, Austin, was centered around the theme of “If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.” He shared lessons from his Navy SEAL training, emphasizing the importance of discipline, perseverance, and teamwork. McRaven’s speech is remembered for its straightforward, actionable advice and its message that even small actions can lead to significant change.

Maya Angelou – Spelman College, 1982

Maya Angelou’s graduation speech at Spelman College was a poetic and powerful address that emphasized the importance of courage, love, and perseverance. Angelou spoke about the challenges of being a black woman in America and the strength that comes from understanding and embracing one’s identity. Her speech is remembered for its lyrical delivery and its profound messages of empowerment and resilience.

Conan O’Brien – Dartmouth College, 2011

Conan O’Brien’s speech at Dartmouth College was a masterclass in blending humor with serious advice. O’Brien spoke about his career setbacks and how they ultimately led him to success. He reminded graduates that failure is not the end but a stepping stone to new opportunities. His speech was both entertaining and insightful, offering a refreshing perspective on how to handle life’s unexpected twists and turns.

Toni Morrison – Wellesley College, 2004

Toni Morrison’s graduation speech at Wellesley College was a thought-provoking address that explored themes of identity, responsibility, and the power of language. Morrison encouraged graduates to use their voices to advocate for justice and to resist the forces of oppression. Her speech was a call to action for graduates to use their education to make a meaningful difference in the world.

Jon Stewart – The College of William & Mary, 2004

Jon Stewart’s graduation speech at The College of William & Mary was filled with humor and irreverence, but it also carried a serious message about integrity and perseverance. Stewart spoke about the importance of staying true to one’s principles and not being afraid to challenge the status quo. His speech resonated with graduates as a reminder that success is not just about achieving goals but also about maintaining one’s values.

Nora Ephron – Wellesley College, 1996

Nora Ephron’s graduation speech at Wellesley College was both witty and wise, offering practical advice to young women entering the workforce. Ephron encouraged graduates to embrace change and to be fearless in their pursuit of happiness. Her speech was a celebration of women’s empowerment and a call to reject societal expectations in favor of personal fulfillment.

Randy Pausch – Carnegie Mellon University, 2008

Randy Pausch’s “Last Lecture,” given at Carnegie Mellon University, became famous for its moving and inspirational message. Pausch, who was battling terminal cancer, spoke about achieving childhood dreams and the importance of enabling the dreams of others. His speech was a poignant reminder of the value of time and the impact one person can have on the lives of many.

Michael Bloomberg – Harvard University, 2014

Michael Bloomberg’s graduation speech at Harvard University focused on leadership and the importance of taking action in the face of challenges. Bloomberg spoke about his own journey from entrepreneur to mayor of New York City, emphasizing the need for boldness and innovation in solving the world’s problems. His speech was a call to graduates to step up as leaders and make a tangible difference in their communities.

Denzel Washington – University of Pennsylvania, 2011

Denzel Washington’s graduation speech at the University of Pennsylvania was a motivational address that encouraged graduates to take risks and embrace failure as a necessary part of success. Washington spoke about his own career setbacks and the importance of perseverance. His speech was filled with wisdom and encouragement, reminding graduates that “falling forward” is the key to achieving greatness.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie – Wellesley College, 2015

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s speech at Wellesley College was a powerful address on feminism, identity, and the importance of storytelling. Adichie urged graduates to reject the narrow definitions of success imposed by society and to embrace their unique identities. Her speech was a celebration of diversity and a call to graduates to use their voices to create a more inclusive world.

Why These Graduation Speeches Still Matter

Years after they were delivered, these graduation speeches continue to be relevant. But why? It’s because the messages they convey are timeless. Whether it’s the importance of staying true to yourself, embracing failure, or finding your purpose, these themes are universal. Graduation speeches like those by Steve Jobs, J.K. Rowling, Oprah Winfrey, and David Foster Wallace offer wisdom that can guide us not just in our careers, but in our everyday lives.

Universal Lessons for Every Graduate

The lessons from these top graduation speeches aren’t limited to the graduates who were there to hear them in person. Thanks to the internet, anyone can access these speeches and the wisdom they contain. These speeches serve as a reminder that no matter where you are in life, there’s always something to learn from the experiences of others.

Crafting Your Own Graduation Speech

If you’re ever in a position where you need to give a graduation speech, these examples offer a great template to follow. Start with a personal story to connect with your audience, add a bit of humor to keep things light, and finish with actionable advice that graduates can carry with them. And remember, the best graduation speeches are those that come from the heart.

So, whether you’re writing a graduation speech or just reflecting on the journey ahead, take a moment to revisit some of these top graduation speeches. They might just offer the inspiration you need as you step into the next chapter of your life.

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Funny Graduation Speeches

Michele is a writer who has been published both locally and internationally.

Learn about our Editorial Policy .

Graduation speeches infused with humor bring life to these traditional celebrations and speak to the nature of the youth in attendance. If you're not a natural comedian, these funny graduation speech ideas provide a great starting point to customize your speech.

Funny High School Graduation Speech #1 - Finding Out Who You Are

Who are we? That is a great question. We've spent the last 13 years of our lives trying to prepare for that, but it isn't something that you can Google. Well, you can Google it, but make sure that you turn on the safe search first. There is no telling what your results might be.

• 4 High School Graduation Speech Samples That Inspire

It's Okay to Not Know

However, Google won't tell us where our passion lies. It won't tell us who we are. And while some of us know, (your parents are breathing a deep sigh of relief right now), others of us don't, (sorry Mom and Dad). We don't know what we want to be when we grow up yet, and that is okay. Well, your parents might not think so when you are on your fourth major and they're paying your tuition, but it is still okay.

A New Chapter and Finding Your Passion

High school was fun, but we have turned a page in our life. We have moved from childhood into adulthood and now is the time to find our passion. It's time to learn what we want to be if we haven't figured it out, or follow our dream if we have. So parents, open up your wallets because studying philosophy isn't cheap.

Thank You All

Teachers, your passion and dedication has helped us to realize that being first in line isn't a life or death situation. And thank you for understanding that dogs can eat anything from homework to gym shorts. True story. Faculty, thank you for putting up with us from our nose picking days to raging hormonal breakdowns. Through it all, you have been our rocks. So as we take this final walk out of this school, we thank you all for helping us to answer the question of who we are.

Humorous Sample Speech #2 - Learn From Your Mistakes

We all make mistakes. I know that I have. Stealing Shelly's boyfriend in 3rd grade was definitely a mistake, but I think I did her a favor. Staying up the night before ACTs was a mistake, but I'm standing up here so it wasn't that bad. I have made mistakes. Hundreds, no thousands, okay maybe millions, of mistakes within my short 18 years, including that funny student council speech I made sophmore year that turned out more stupid than funny.

Mistakes Help You Grow

Have I learned from all of them? Probably not. But more often than not mistakes helped me to grow. I mean I learned that volunteering to give a graduation speech was probably not my best choice 13 hours and four speeches later. But then again, I'm killing it right now, so time well spent. I also learned that I'll probably never volunteer for this again. So as you can see, mistakes are all about learning.

New Adventure - New Mistakes

As we bust through this new adventure in our lives, some call being a grown up, I call the end of freeloading, we will make mistakes. We will choose the wrong major and have to pay thousands extra in student loans, but we will learn to be more frugal. Honestly, we will probably just learn how to live on Ramen, but who knows. We will miss deadlines and be late, but all these things will make us grow and change. Our mistakes will become as important as our successes because they will define us.

So, don't aim for perfect, instead, it is better to be flawed. So, thank you, parents and teachers, for letting us make mistakes. Thank you for molding us into the imperfect creatures we are today. And most of all thank you for allowing us to learn from our mistakes as we move forward.

Customization Options for the Funniest Graduation Speech

Each sample speech is general enough to be used for most school graduations. If you want to create an original speech, you can modify both samples by:

• Changing out terminology with words like high school or senior class
• Adding in personal stories or examples
• Including funny sound effects and facial expressions where they make sense
• Changing the greeting or closing statements

Tips for a Great Speech

Giving a speech in front of a large crowd, especially in front of people you know well, can be a challenge if you plan to give an unexpected surprise like a funny speech. These suggestions and ideas will help you prepare so your speech gets the positive reaction you hope for.

Bits of Humor

You don't have to be known for your humor to add it into a speech, but there is a right way and a wrong way to give a humorous speech. Funny graduation speeches command an audience's attention and involve them in the ceremony. However, adding humor that is well-timed, appropriate, and funny can be tricky. Keep the following points in mind as you plan your speech.

• Timing is everything. Take a look at your speech ahead of time and decide where humor will be most appropriate.
• Stories of classmates and faculty members are your best sources for funny stories. Think about funny moments that included others at the school.
• Search for funny quotes , jokes , sayings , poems , song lyrics or even newspaper headlines that could be related to the ceremony. Be sure they complement the moment.
• Don't be afraid to talk about yourself, especially any embarrassing moments you might have experienced during your academic years.
• Tell stories. Even without trying to inject humor, you might find that your stories about your graduating class, the faculty, and the administration are funny.
• Refer to subjects that everyone is familiar with, such as politics or especially pop culture. Think about popular TV shows, bands, movie stars, etc. Remind the audience about fads that have been popular while your graduating class has been in school. If you know a funny story relating to this theme, tell it.

Practice Pointers

Before the actual ceremony, you'll want to practice your speech several times. You'll also want to:

• Give a copy of your speech to the principal and any other faculty members involved in the ceremony. Be sure you get their approval before you give your speech.
• Practice your speech in front of several friends and ask for their honest feedback.
• When adding humor to a speech, it is important that you stress certain words to add emphasis to the funny parts of the speech.
• Don't just focus on stories that relate to you and your friends. It's important to include as many of the groups in your school as possible. You want to reach all of your audience, not just some of them.
• Funny graduation speeches should not be rude or cruel. Do not use this time to ridicule a teacher or principal who is disliked by you or your friends. Be sure your speech material is appropriate.
• Sometimes, there is a fine line between poking fun at something or someone and being offensive. Use tact and consideration in your speech.

A Fun Way to Say Goodbye

Your graduation speech is the perfect time to sum up your experiences over the past years and close this chapter of life. Infuse the speech with a youthful spirit, ingenuity, and humor to make it an experience others will never forget. Now all you have to do is figure out your graduation thank you speech to give to your loved ones at your party.

Top Funny Graduation Speeches to Brighten Up Your Day

Graduating from school was much anticipated for me. I am telling you sincerely that things will never be the same again. The transition can be thrilling and daunting at the same time. Who ever said graduation speeches must be plain and dull?

Table of Contents

Injecting Humor into Speeches

Injecting humor into speeches is a great way to lighten the mood and make the occasion even more memorable. After all, laughter is the best medicine.

In this article, I will share some of the funniest graduation speeches that will tickle your funny bone. Whether you are a graduate, family member, or attendee, these hilarious commencement addresses are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!

Key Takeaways:

• Funny graduation speeches can bring laughter and joy to an otherwise serious occasion.
• Injecting humor into speeches is a great way to lighten the mood and make the occasion even more memorable.
• Laughter is the best medicine, and funny graduation speeches will tickle your funny bone.

The Power of Humor in Graduation Speeches

As a reporter and professional copywriter, I have attended many graduation ceremonies. Most of these are filled with serious speeches that aim to encourage and motivate the graduating class. However, I have realized that the most memorable and engaging speeches are always the ones delivered with humor.

A humorous graduation speech can do much more than entertain; it can transform an otherwise dull event into something spectacular. It may also help to create an atmosphere where graduates and attendees feel more relaxed and united.

The Influence of Humor

Research has shown that humor can reduce stress, improve mood, and foster social bonding. When used in commencement addresses, humor assists in gripping the audience’s attention, thereby making the speech easily memorable.

One of the famous funny graduation speeches was by Steve Jobs at Stanford University in 2005 when he addressed graduating students. The address interspersed his anecdotes with several jokes, leading to entertainment while getting inspired as well.

“The best tool I’ve ever come across to help me make really big choices in life is remembering that someday I’ll be dead.”

Writing a Speech Comedy

When choosing to give a graduation speech, you should consider including some comedy in your material. Creating comedic speeches requires striking a balance between sincerity and humor. You want your audience members laughing but still walk away from your talk with something meaningful.

To start, brainstorm funny graduation speech ideas. Pulling from your own experiences, pop culture, or even recent happenings can be helpful when coming up with this speech. Employ comedy to narrate a story that relates to the graduate students specifically and the occasion, then ensure that you practice saying it out loud so that you get the timing right on all your jokes.

Examples of Comedic Graduation Speeches

Stand-up comedians, politicians, and movie stars have provided great comic relief for graduating classes; Will Ferrell’s 2017 address at the University of Southern California is one such example. The entire speech was filled with hilarious jokes and comments.

“When I die, I want to be buried in a huge shoebox just like all my other valuable possessions.”

Ellen DeGeneres’ speech to the graduating class of 2009 at Tulane University was also very successful. Her humor and quick wit were evident.

“I learned many things while I was in college, but the most important thing was if you don’t wear underwear, you’ll ruin your pants.”

Additionally, studying some of the greatest comedians’ addresses made at graduation ceremonies allows you to learn from these masters and incorporate similar techniques into your own speech.

Humorous Graduation Speech Ideas

Do you have an upcoming graduation speech that needs some laughter? Well, look no further! Here are some funny graduation speeches that will crack up any audience:

• Start with a joke: Beginning your speech with a lighthearted joke can instantly grab your audience’s attention and set the tone for lightheartedness.
• Incorporate pop culture references: Whether it’s referencing a popular TV show or a viral meme, incorporating current pop culture references in your speech can add a comedic touch.
• Share a funny personal story: Everyone loves a good laugh, which can make your speech relatable and entertaining.
• Use witty one-liners: One-liners are a great way to sprinkle quick laughs throughout your speech and keep your audience engaged.
• Poke fun at yourself: Making fun of yourself in a self-deprecating way can endear you to your audience and make them laugh.

Remember, the key to delivering a funny graduation speech is to keep it light-hearted and entertaining while providing a meaningful message.

“I didn’t graduate with honors. I was honored just to graduate.” – Lou Holtz

Use theslightheartedaft a hilarious graduation speech that will make your audience laugh and leave a lasting impression.

Examples of Funny Graduation Speeches

Looking for inspiration on how to deliver a humorous graduation speech? Look no further than these hilarious examples from some of the most notable speakers in recent years.

These speeches prove that a little humor can go a long way in making graduation day a memorable and enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

How to Deliver a Funny Graduation Speech

Delivering a humorous graduation speech can be daunting, but with the right approach, it can be a memorable and entertaining experience for graduates and attendees. Here are some tips to ensure your speech is a hit:

• Timing is everything. Make sure your jokes are well-timed and don’t drag on. Keep them short and sweet, and don’t let them overshadow the main message of your speech.
• Engage with your audience. Don’t just deliver your speech robotically; interact with your audience, make eye contact, and use body language to emphasize your points. This will help to keep the audience engaged and entertained.
• Use personal anecdotes and experiences. Incorporating personal stories into your speech can add a touch of humor and relatability. Just make sure they are appropriate and don’t offend anyone.
• Mix in some quotes. Including funny quotes from famous people or popular movies can add humor to your speech and show that you are well-read and witty.
• Practice, practice, practice. Rehearsing your speech beforehand will help you to refine your delivery and make sure you don’t stumble over your words. Plus, the more comfortable you are with your material, the more confident you’ll be on the day.

With these tips in mind, you’ll be able to deliver a humorous graduation speech that will have your audience in stitches. And remember, the most important thing is to have fun and enjoy the moment!

The Impact of Laughter on Graduation Day

As an advertising reporter who has attended countless graduation ceremonies and speeches, I can say with a clear conscience that funny graduation speeches can revolutionize the entire occasion. The value of humor on graduation day cannot be overstated.

One way to accomplish this is through entertaining graduation speeches. They can ease tensions and break the ice, putting everyone in attendance at ease. Funny speeches, when done right, also create a sense of togetherness among the graduates and their families, making the ceremony more enjoyable.

However, the benefits of laughter in graduation speeches are far-reaching, as it makes people happy. Research has shown that laughter reduces stress, boosts the immune system and releases happiness hormones called endorphins, which make people feel good. In summary, it can be said that laughing out loud can work wonders for our mental well-being and physical fitness.

So if you are either graduating or attending such a ceremony with funny speeches, humor is the name of the game at graduation ceremonies. It could just make your occasion unforgettable!

As a professional copywriter, I know how important it is to have fun with your graduation speech and make it memorable with a few jokes. A funny graduation speech can bring laughter and joy to what would otherwise be treated seriously. This creates a light-hearted atmosphere that gives every attendee a better experience.

Throughout, lighthearted has looked at how effective comedy can be at events where various methods need to be used to create an interesting atmosphere so that the audience stays in their seats until the speaker finishes his/her speech before clapping again; numerous suggestions have also been made on various aspects such as delivery style or content development and other related things.

We have also included some examples given by prominent speakers before advising on how best to give such a speech that involves wordplay that relates to children’s lives.

So if you have to give a graduation speech, tell a joke as part of your remarks. You may create a moment that will stay with you forever.

Remember that humorous graduation speeches are about making people laugh and leaving a lasting impression. The funniest graduation speeches are the ones that combine humor with insight and inspiration. So why not write your funny graduation speech that will go down in history as one of the best funny graduation speeches of all time?

Q: How can funny graduation speeches make the occasion more enjoyable?

A: Funny graduation speeches can bring laughter and joy to a typically severe event. They can lighten the atmosphere and create a memorable and enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Q: How can humor engage the audience during a graduation speech?

A: Humor in graduation speeches can captivate the audience by grabbing their attention and keeping them engaged. It can make the speech more relatable and entertaining, ensuring the audience remains attentive and interested.

Q: What are some ideas for crafting a funny graduation speech?

A: To create a funny graduation speech, you can incorporate humor through storytelling, personal anecdotes, and clever wordplay. This will entertain and captivate the audience, leaving a lasting impression on everyone present.

Q: Can you provide examples of funny graduation speeches?

A: Sure! Some examples of funny graduation speeches include Conan O’Brien’s commencement address at Dartmouth College, Ellen DeGeneres’ speech at Tulane University, and Stephen Colbert’s speech at Northwestern University. These speeches are full of humorous quotes and anecdotes that showcase the power of humor in graduation speeches.

Q: What tips can you offer for delivering a funny graduation speech?

A: Timing and delivery are crucial when delivering a funny graduation speech. Practice your speech to ensure you hit the comedic moments just right. Additionally, engage with the audience, use gestures and facial expressions to enhance your humor, and incorporate funny quotes or one-liners to entertain the crowd.

Q: How does laughter impact graduation day?

A: Laughter has a positive impact on graduation day by alleviating stress, creating a lighthearted atmosphere, and fostering a sense of camaraderie among graduates. Lighthearted speeches contribute to this atmosphere, making the day more enjoyable and memorable for everyone.

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21 Best Graduation Speeches That Everyone Should Hear

Read life advice from Ree Drummond, Bill Gates, Oprah, and more!

Included in this list is the Pioneer Woman herself—Ree Drummond has witnessed her fair share of milestones with the Drummond kids and to top it off, she delivered an iconic keynote address at Oklahoma State University . Of course, who could forget Oprah Winfrey's speech to the class of 2020? In this heartfelt and emotional address, Winfrey encourages graduates to find their purpose in life and make a difference in the world. Those two are just a taste of what's to come. So, turn on the graduation songs , grab your tissues, and get ready for some solid life advice. Whether you're a recent graduate or just in need of a little pick-me-up, these speeches are sure to leave you feeling inspired and ready to take on whatever life throws your way.

Bill Gates: Northern Arizona University, 2023

Despite famously dropping out of Harvard after two years of study, Bill Gates shared a few pieces of advice he says he could have used at his hypothetical graduation. The Microsoft founder emphasized the importance of being open to career changes and learning to take a break.

"You are not a slacker if you cut yourself some slack. When I was your age, I didn’t believe in vacations. I didn’t believe in weekends. I pushed everyone around me to work very long hours. In the early days of Microsoft, my office overlooked the parking lot—and I would keep track of who was leaving early and staying late. But as I got older—and especially once I became a father—I realized there is more to life than work. Don’t wait as long as I did to learn this lesson. Take time to nurture your relationships, to celebrate your successes, and to recover from your losses."

Ree Drummond: Oklahoma State University, 2022

Ree hardly needs an introduction, but she knows a thing or two about life as a published author, Food Network host, and most importantly, mother of five.

"Buckle up, you have good times and rough seas ahead. It is just part of life, but enjoy the ride and laugh a lot... Life is about to unfold for you in all its forms. Love, heartache, accomplishments, disappointment, testing of faith... life is beautiful, so I repeat, buckle up and laugh along the way. It makes life fun."

Hamdi Ulukaya: Northeastern University, 2022

You may not know his name, but you might just love Chobani, the hugely successful yogurt brand Hamdi started. He reminded graduates why we are here on earth.

"As we started to grow, we hired everyone that we could. I realized an hour away there was a community of refugees who were having a hard time finding jobs. I said, 'Let's hire them.' I promise you that there is nothing more rewarding than showing up in the world for other people, no matter how hard it may be."

Dr. Marie Lynn Miranda: University of Notre Dame, 2021

As obvious as it sounds, you don't know what you don't know. That's the lesson from this acclaimed Notre Dame professor and environmental researcher.

"As much as I want to highlight the importance of the expertise you have developed, I also want to make the point that you will face situations in the years ahead where you will have no relevant expertise; you will have no evidence base to rely upon; your intellect will not be able to supply a needed answer. In those situations, I would like to suggest that you respond with love."

Oprah Winfrey: Class of 2020 Virtual Speech

Oprah had one of the hardest commencement speeches to give: it was for the class that graduated during the pandemic. She found a profound lesson in the chaos of those early months.

"Look who turns out to be essential! Teachers—your teachers!—healthcare workers of course, the people stocking grocery shelves, the cashiers, those who are caring for your grandparents, those who clean the places where we work and shop and carry out our daily lives. We are all here because they, at great and profound risk, are still providing their essential service. What will your essential service be? What really matters to you? How will you use what matters in service to yourself, your community, and the world?"

Tim Cook: Tulane University, 2019

Tim Cook took a similar approach to his late co-worker Steve Jobs when it came to the theme of his graduation speech.

"There's a saying that if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. At Apple, I learned that's a total crock. You'll work harder than you ever thought possible, but the tools will feel light in your hands. As you go out into the world, don't waste time on problems that have been solved... Look for the rough spots, the problems that seem too big, the complexities that other people are content to work around. It's in those places that you will find your purpose. It's there that you can make your greatest contribution."

Ken Burns: Stanford University, 2016

In his 2016 Stanford speech, America's most famous documentary filmmaker asked listeners not to forget the lessons found in our history.

"Be for something. Be curious, not cool. Feed your soul, too. Every day. Remember, insecurity makes liars of us all. Don't confuse success with excellence. Educate all of your parts. You will be healthier. Seek out—and have—mentors. Listen to them. Bite off more than you can chew. Do not get stuck in one place. Visit our national parks. Their sheer majesty may remind you of your own 'atomic insignificance,' as one observer noted, but in the inscrutable ways of nature, you will feel larger, inspirited, just as the egotist in our midst is diminished by his or her self-regard. Insist on heroes. And be one."

Sheryl Sandberg: UC Berkeley, 2016

The former COO of Facebook offered graduates a realistic look at the life ahead and how to move through the hard times. "Some of you have already experienced the kind of tragedy and hardship that leave an indelible mark. The question is not if some of these things will happen to you. They will. Today I want to talk about what happens next. The easy days ahead of you will be easy. It is the hard days—the times that challenge you to your very core—that will determine who you are. You will be defined not just by what you achieve but by how you survive."

Admiral William H. McRaven: University of Texas at Austin, 2014

During Admiral McRaven's speech at his alma mater, he looked to the lessons he learned serving his country. One of which was so simple, yet profoundly impactful.

"If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another. By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter... And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made—that you made—and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better."

George Saunders: Syracuse University, 2013

Bestselling author and professor George Saunders offered grads a guiding principle to move through life with, no matter what they pursue.

"Travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes, swim naked in wild jungle rivers (after first having it tested for monkey poop)—but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness. Do those things that incline you toward the big questions, and avoid the things that would reduce you and make you trivial. That luminous part of you that exists beyond personality—your soul, if you will—is as bright and shining as any that has ever been."

Kerry Washington: George Washington University, 2013

Actress Kerry Washington told graduates to think of this achievement during the difficult or uncomfortable parts of life.

"The lesson is that you're here because you too learned how to answer the call. You don't earn a degree by doing and being and existing in the comfort zone of what you already know. Look back on the journey that brought you here. What moments challenged you most? When were you asked to step outside of your familiar territory in order to rise to the occasion of your potential? I want you to remember those moments, because they will embolden you."

Neil Gaiman: University of the Arts, 2012

Neil wasn't always an acclaimed author of fiction, comic books, graphic novels, nonfiction, and films. His speech may have been given to a group of young artists, but the advice applies to anyone starting out in a turbulent career.

"People who know what they are doing know the rules, and they know what is possible and what is impossible. You do not. And you should not. The rules on what is possible and impossible in the arts were made by people who had not tested the bounds of the possible by going beyond them. And you can. If you don't know it's impossible, it's easier to do. And because nobody's done it before, they haven't made up rules to stop anyone doing that particular thing again."

Aaron Sorkin: Syracuse University, 2012

Aaron has carved an incredible career writing plays, movies, and television shows, but success clearly hasn't impacted his sense of humility.

"Decisions are made by those who show up. Don't ever forget that you're a citizen of this world. Don't ever forget that you're a citizen of this world, and there are things you can do to lift the human spirit, things that are easy, things that are free, things that you can do every day: civility, respect, kindness, character."

Atul Gawande: Williams College, 2012

Being a surgeon means you have to think on your feet when things go wrong, and for Dr. Gawande, that holds an immense life lesson.

"A failure often does not have to be a failure at all. However, you have to be ready for it. Will you admit when things go wrong? Will you take steps to set them right? Because the difference between triumph and defeat, you'll find, isn't about willingness to take risks. It's about mastery of rescue."

Conan O'Brien: Dartmouth College, 2011

This famous late-night host delivered a hilarious graduation speech riddled with stories, each with their own lesson.

"David Letterman wanted to be Johnny Carson and was not, and as a result, my generation of comedians wanted to be David Letterman. And none of us are—my peers and I have all missed that mark in a thousand different ways. But the point is this: It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can be a catalyst for profound re-invention."

Steve Jobs: Stanford University, 2005

The entrepreneur, inventor, and pioneer of the personal computer revolution had his fair share of ups and downs in life. But one of the things that made him so persistent was his love of technology.

"You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it."

Toni Morrison: Wellesley College, 2004

Toni Morrison disputed the usual platitude that youth is the best time of your life. Instead, she told students that there is nothing more satisfying or gratifying than the true adulthood which stretches out before them. "What is now known is not all that you are capable of knowing. You are your own stories and therefore free to imagine and experience what it means to be human without wealth. What it feels like to be human without domination over others, without reckless arrogance, without fear of others unlike you, without rotating, rehearsing and reinventing the hatreds you learned in the sandbox. And although you don't have complete control over the narrative (no author does, I can tell you), you could nevertheless create it."

Bill Gates: Harvard University, 2007

Who wouldn't take the Microsoft founder's advice?

"In line with the promise of this age, I want to exhort each of the graduates here to take on an issue—a complex problem, a deep inequity, and become a specialist on it. If you make it the focus of your career, that would be phenomenal. But you don't have to do that to make an impact... don't let complexity stop you. Be activists. Take on big inequities. I feel sure it will be one of the great experiences of your lives."

Nora Ephron: Wellesley College, 1996

When Nora Ephron wasn't reporting, she was writing some of our most beloved romantic comedies. She reassured grads that they will always continue to change and grow.

"What are you going to do? Everything is my guess. It will be a little messy but embrace the mess. It will be complicated but rejoice in the complications. It will not be anything like what you think it's going to be like, but surprises are good for you. And don't be frightened. You can always change your mind. I know. I've had four careers and three husbands. And this is something else I want to tell you, one of the hundreds of things I didn't know when I was sitting here so many years ago: you are not going to be you, fixed and immutable you, forever."

Barbara Kingsolver: DePauw University, 1994

The sentiment of Barbara Kingsolver's speech resonates today just as much as it did in 1994.

"I'm going to go out on a limb here and give you one little piece of advice and that is like the idea of a future. Believe you have it in you to make the world look better rather than worse seven generations from now. Figure out what that could look like. And then if you're lucky, you'll find a way to live inside that hope, running down its hallways, touching the walls on both sides."

Micaela Bahn is a freelance editorial assistant and recent graduate from Carleton College, where she majored in English literature. She loves running, photography, and cooking the best new recipes.

Nitya Rao is the editorial assistant at The Pioneer Woman, covering stories ranging from food, fashion, beauty, lifestyle, news, and more.

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9 best commencement speeches by comedians

GOLD Comedy is the online comedy destination for women and nonbinary folks! If you’re here, you’re probably interested in comedy. Great! You’ve found your people, here. Check us out in GOLD Club , where we host classes, celeb Q&As, writers’ workshops, and so much more. It’s community + comedy at its very best. (Plus there’s a 14-Day free trial! Woo!) Standup 101 courses start every month!

Nothing says springtime like graduation! And nothing says graduation like long, cliché speeches about “following your dreams” and stale jokes about bad dining hall food.

But we here at GOLD prefer a commencement speech with a bit more flair. So before “Regalia” makes it into this year’s list of top baby names, we wanted to share with you some of our favorite commencement speeches ever given by comedians. Sorry, Steve Wozniak. Maybe Rutgers will call next year.

This list includes speeches given at a diverse group of schools including a few prestigious Ivy leagues, some southern gems, and even a high school in Lexington, Massachusetts ( Lynn’s hometown . Also, Rachel Dratch’s!). So what do they all have in common? Every speech acknowledges that we comedians are never truly qualified to do anything, let alone give a solemn commencement address. Hell, I still have trouble remembering whether the word “address” has two D’s or one. They both look right to me.

Ranked in no particular order, here are some of the wittiest speeches given at some of the weightiest ceremonies:

1. Maya Rudolph – Tulane University, 2015

Hilarious, versatile, and fresh, Maya Rudolph never disappoints. She certainly didn’t disappoint during her 2015 speech to the seniors of Tulane University in New Orleans, LA. In her address, she covers her dreams of being on SNL, a roast-like description of herself as a hippie college student, and her identity crisis as a closeted thespian.

“I didn’t know who I was or what I was going to do with my life when I finished college. I wasn’t any clearer about my direction than the day I graduated high school. I wore Birkenstocks and smelled like a patchouli fart.”

This speech is particularly appealing to us comedy nerds as Rudolph invokes the crucial improv concept of “Yes, And.” Not to mention her passionate “interpretation” of the National Anthem.

Check out the speech here: http://time.com/3883091/maya-rudolph-tulane-university-graduation-speech/

2. Jon Stewart – College of William and Mary, 2004

At the height of his show’s popularity, Daily Show host and comedy god Jon Stewart took a break from his busy schedule to give a gut-busting and rather cynical warning to William and Mary’s graduating class of 2004.

Early in his speech, Stewart apologizes on behalf of his entire generation for “breaking the world.”

“I know some of you are nostalgic today and filled with excitement and perhaps uncertainty at what the future holds. I know six of you are trying to figure out how to make a bong out of your caps.”

Check out the speech here: http://www.wm.edu/news/stories/2004/jon-stewarts-84-commencement-address.php

3. Stephen Colbert – University of Virginia, 2013

Former compadre and counterpoint to Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert is a top dog when it comes to political satire.

Though Colbert has imparted much graduation wisdom over the years, no speech compares to his 2013 speech to the Hoos of UVA. Colbert cleverly muses on secret societies, the infamous Thomas Jefferson, and even his own marriage.

“But perhaps the real reason UVA is so great is that it trusts its students. You have the nation’s oldest student-run honor code. Say it with me – on my honor, I pledge that I have neither given nor received help on this assignment, so help me Adderall.”

Since giving this speech, Colbert has “graduated” himself, making the shift from his Comedy Central show to hosting primetime’s The Late Show on CBS, where he has recently found a new pastime in poking fun at President Trump .

Check out the speech here

4. Mindy Kaling — Harvard Law School, 2014

Former intern to Conan O’Brien, Mindy Kaling has been a dynamite actress and writer since bursting into the comedy spotlight as Kelly Kapoor on The Office. Since then, Kaling has found massive success with her own show The Mindy Project—and her address to the Class of 2014 from Harvard Law.

“You are the nerds who are going to make some serious bank, which is why I am here today…to marry the best-looking amongst you.”

As to whether or not she was qualified to speak at the commencement, Kaling claimed, “I do know a ton about the law because I sue everyone.”  

5. Conan O’Brien — Dartmouth College, 2011

Former boss of Mindy Kaling, Conan O’Brien has been a late-night staple since the early 90’s. Standing proud behind what he describes as a podium like something a bear would use at an AA meeting,” Conan brought his self-deprecating charm and good-natured quips to the graduating class of 2011 at Dartmouth.

“New Hampshire is such a special place. When I arrived I took a deep breath of this crisp New England air and thought, ‘Wow, I’m in the state that’s next to the state where Ben and Jerry’s ice cream is made.’”

As most comedy geeks know, Conan went to Harvard, not Dartmouth. But in his speech he claims, “If I had gone to Dartmouth, right now I’d be wearing a fleece thong instead of a lace thong.”

6. Ellen Degeneres — Tulane University, 2009

Mononym queen and daytime sweetheart Ellen Degeneres has been crushing the comedy scene for almost four decades . From her work on her own ‘90s sitcom to the more recent Finding Dory , Degeneres has found popularity across a huge variety of age groups and demographics. I can say with 100% certainty that my 62-year old mother is catching up on Ellen clips at this very moment.

Her speech to the so-called 2009 “Katrina” class at Tulane is both funny and poignant, goofy and incredibly sincere. Degeneres tackles topics such as sexuality, tragedy, and fame.

“I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus, alumini, aluminum, alumis; you had to graduate from this school. And I didn’t go to college here, and I don’t know if President Cowan knows, I didn’t go to any college at all, any college. And I’m not saying you wasted your time, or money, but look at me, I’m a huge celebrity.”

But there’s one thing she has in common with the grads, Degeneres says:  “I was born and raised here, I spent my formative years here, and like you, while I was living here I only did laundry six times.”

7. Will Ferrell — Harvard University, 2003

A USC grad, Will Ferrell had no business giving the commencement speech to the Harvard University class of 2003. And yet, here we are.

Packed with jokes, Ferrell’s script is full of twists and turns, outbursts, and even some impassioned singing. Hard to believe his 50th birthday will be occurring later this year. (I could’ve sworn he was 60.)

“Some of you will be captains of industry and business. Others of you will go on to great careers in medicine, law and public service. Four of you—and I’m not at liberty to say which four—will go on to magnificent careers in the porno industry. I’m not trying to be funny. That’s just a statistical fact.”

As of 2017, Ferrell is both a comedic powerhouse AND a household name. And with all those houses, his upcoming 2017 flick co-starring Amy Poehler, “ The House ,” is sure to be a winner.

8. Eugene Mirman — Lexington High School, 2009

These days, it seems like high school humor consists of nothing more than a few well-placed emojis, fleeting dance crazes, and more shareable memes than original jokes.

But in 2009, Bob’s Burgers actor and human beanbag chair Eugene Mirman gave a hilarious five-minute speech to the 2009 graduating class of Lexington High School that perfectly incorporated teenage angst and youthful energy. The speech is one of the wittiest and most honest of the bunch.

“The main difference for you, between life yesterday and life tomorrow, is you can go to the bathroom whenever you want. It’s a pretty big responsibility, but you’ve earned it. A few more things: you can vote, start a family, go to war, even buy a beer. Just kidding, you’re only mature enough to shoot our enemies in the face.”

Mirman knows how to use absurdism to appeal to distraction-prone high school audiences, saying “I won’t lie to you, there is an asteroid heading for the earth and you only have four days to live. I’m sorry, where was I?”

9. Amy Poehler — Harvard University, 2011

Last but not least, one of the grand empresses of comedy: Amy Poehler. Armed with experience and talent out the wazoo, Poehler is the kind of comedian who can do anything– including ending a hysterical graduation speech with a quote from OutKast’s “Hey Ya.”

Harvard clearly has no shortage of comedic guests (or anything, for that matter.) Poehler’s speech to their 2011 graduating class was punchy and sharp.

“And I am here to tell you, life is like a heist that requires good drivers, an explosives expert, a hot girl who doubles as a master of disguise, and this is a hard and fast rule: if the Rock shows up, they’re on to you.”

As of now, we’re looking forward to her new BBC show and apparent biographical series about my life, Zero Motivation.

Did someone give a funny speech at YOUR graduation? Tell us about it!

Tweet to us @goldcmdy .

CARSEN SMITH (intern, branding and content) performs standup and improv in New York City. She co-created the improvised cooking show “I’ll Have What She’s Having,” which ran at Nashville’s Third Coast Comedy Club. @carsenasmith

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