essay examples 9

IELTS Band 9 sample essay

Band 9 Sample answers are useful as study guides for IELTS preparation for the IELTS Writing Task 2 essay – especially for a band 9 IELTS essay. Having access to previously completed work that you can have confidence in will show you what you are missing!

Take a look at these sample task 2 essay questions to help you prepare for your exam.

Use the following IELTS sample essay and its explanations to see how close you are to a band 9 in your IELTS writing essay!

Evaluation Criteria

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Examples of Band 9 Essays

IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay Sample Question and Answer(1)

Why is this IELTS Essay a Band 9?

5 Tips for a Band 9 IELTS Essay

Sample IELTS Writing Task 2 Question and Answer(2)

Sample IELTS Writing Task 2 Question and Answer (3)

Useful Definitions of Advanced Vocabulary Used

Video: Band 9 EX-IELTS Examiner Essay Review

Sample 19 IELTS Essays and 240 Task 2 Essay Questions Ebook

Video: Useful IELTS Essay Writing Tip

Audio Resources

Additional IELTS Resources

IELTS essay task 2: evaluation criteria

IELTS writing tests are evaluated across 4 areas when your band score is calculated:

• Task achievement  – To what extent does the examinee address all parts of the task with a fully developed position, inclusive of fully extended and well supported ideas?
• Coherence and cohesion  – Does the candidate logically organise the information and ideas? Is the entire essay cohesive with a logical progression of ideas?
• Lexical resource  – To what extent does the examinee use a wide range of vocabulary with accuracy? Do they demonstrate sophistication regarding the use of lexical items?
• Grammatical range and accuracy  – Does the examinee use a range of grammatical structures accurately? Examples of these can be the use of complex sentences with sophisticated clauses instead of simple sentences with a repetitive structure:

Example : Students cannot use phones. They affect development > students are not allowed to use mobile phones in class due to possible distractions.

The British Council (the administrator of the IELTS) outlines 9 different bands of performance for each of the above dimensions here. Your scores in each of these dimensions are averaged to determine your overall band for your essay.

Let's take a look at an example essay that scored as band 9 and then we'll dig into each of these four areas to see why it received that score. It's very important to understand what the IELTS examiner is looking for.

These four criteria are used in our new online essay checker that gives you an estimated band score (free).

IELTS essay sample question (1)

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

IELTS sample essay answer (1)

Parents throughout the world place spend time reading with their offspring to prepare them for school where their literacy skills are further developed; however, recent research suggests that focusing on reading at an early age can be detrimental, and participating in fun activities would be far more beneficial. I am a strong advocate of this approach, and the benefits of it will be covered in this essay.

A fundamental reason for this is that there is no biological age for reading, and pushing infants to acquire this skill before they are ready could have repercussions. For example, in the UK, many boys are reluctant readers, possibly because of being forced to read, and this turned them off reading. By focusing on other activities and developing other skills such as creativity and imagination, when they are ready to read, they usually acquire this skill rapidly.

In addition, the importance of encouraging creativity and developing a child's imagination must be acknowledged. Through play, youngsters develop social and cognitive skills, for example, they are more likely to learn vocabulary through context rather than learning it from a book.

Furthermore, play allows youngsters to mature emotionally, and gain self-confidence. There is no scientific research which suggests reading at a young age is essential for a child's development, moreover, evidence suggests the reverse is true. In Finland, early years' education focuses on playing.

Reading is only encouraged if a child shows an interest in developing this skill. This self-directed approach certainly does not result in Finnish school leavers falling behind their foreign counterparts. In fact, Finland was ranked the sixth-best in the world in terms of reading.

Despite being a supporter of this non-reading approach, I strongly recommend incorporating bedtime stories into a child's daily routine. However, reading as a regular daytime activity should be swapped for something which allows the child to develop other skills.

Why is this essay a band 9?

Task achievement.

According to the IELTS Writing Band Descriptors, an essay is Band 9 for Task Achievement if it:

• Fully addresses  all parts of the task
• Presents a  fully developed  position in answer to the question with relevant, fully extended and well supported ideas.

In order to score well on Task Achievement, the most important thing is  to make sure you respond to what is being asked of you . Is the prompt asking for an opinion, a discussion of a problem, a solution to a problem, or some combination of these? If you provide an opinion and not a solution when you're being asked for a solution, you're not going to score well in this area. Read the question carefully!

The prompt for this essay asks:  “To what extent do you agree [with the previous statement]? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.”  It wants an opinion – with support!

This essay addresses all parts of this task. The opinion is included in the introduction to make the writer's position clear, and then the following paragraphs support the writer's position with examples and justifications. Overall, the response is full and relevant and each of the points is detailed and connected to the thesis.

Coherence and cohesion

Think of this as “How well does the essay flow? Is it easy to follow and does it all tie together?” The exact characteristics for a Band 9 C&C score are that an essay:

• Uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention
• Skilfully manages paragraphing

Note the specific wording “it attracts no attention.” The goal here is for things to sound natural and not forced. How do you connect your ideas (ensure cohesion) without it sounding forced? I think there are 2 possible ways:

• Explain your ideas in a logical order so that you don't need many linking words . This is probably what you do when writing in your own language.
• Use easy linking words like and, but, also, firstly, secondly, finally, for example. These are so common that they attract almost no attention.

This IELTS Sample essay does a good job of this – you'll notice that each paragraph naturally (logically) follows the one prior, providing additional support for the original opinion, and some simple linking words –  in addition, furthermore  (both paragraph 2) and  moreover  (paragraph 3) – are used throughout. These are all good discourse markers that show what is coming next adds to the argument and are slightly more sophisticated than firstly, secondly, and thirdly but don't come across as being forced.

The other aspect to scoring high in C&C is ensuring an essay is well-structured. What do I mean by that? A well-structured essay has a good introduction, body paragraphs that are easy to follow and connect with one another, and a good conclusion. Each body paragraph should also have its own topic sentence and support and then smoothly transition to the next paragraph.

Our sample IELTS essay has a “simple but good” introduction in which it shows that the examinee has knowledge of the topic and clearly states the writer's position to set up the rest of the essay. The paragraphs all have topic sentences, which are then supported by examples, and are easy to follow. The main body and conclusion relate back to the thesis in the introduction.

A note on conclusions…  there are two schools of thought when it comes to how to conclude an IELTS essay. One is to conclude with one simple sentence so that you spend more time perfecting your main body paragraphs. The other is to wrap up with two sentences, once which includes a small prediction (ie, how you think things might turn out) as a way to show the examiner that you know how to correctly use another tense (which will help boost your GR&A score – more on that in a minute). Either is fine, just don't forget your conclusion!

Taking time to plan out and organise your response  before  you start writing is an extremely important step in scoring well in Coherence and Cohesion for your IELTS essay – make sure you do so to ensure your essay is well structured and reads cohesively when you're done!

Lexical resource

Scoring well in the  Lexical Resource  dimension is all about (correctly) showing off your vocabulary. The description for a Band 9 here is:

• Uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features, rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips'

Collocations,  topic-specific  vocabulary  and  phrasal  verbs  are the name of the game here. To score well, an examinee needs to show that they have a wide-ranging vocabulary and they know how to use it.

Our sample essay does a solid job of showing off a  range of vocabulary  – you'll notice that while the essay frequently refers to children, the writer employs different vocabulary ( infants, youngsters, offspring, counterparts ) to do so.

Note : it is highly likely that you will need to refer to people/children in your IELTS Writing task 2 , so make sure that you have lots of different words to use to refer to them.

IELTS examiners do not like to see the words  “people,” “children”  over and over again! The same goes for the word “ important ” – make sure you have plenty of alternative phrases ( essential  and  vital  are both used in our sample essay).

Other examples of a  wide-ranging vocabulary  in our essay include using  rapidly  in place of  quickly ,  mature  instead of develop,  repercussions  to indicate a negative result, and  acquire  in place of learn.

Our sample essay also does a good job of using  collocations  – some examples include  “fundamental reason,” “reluctant readers” “social and cognitive skills,” “learn vocabulary through context,”  and  “strongly recommend.”

The correct use of  phrasal  verbs  also demonstrates one's grasp of English – because of the semantics involved, they are sometimes one of the most difficult things for English language learners to master. Our essay writer correctly uses a few of these including “ turned them off”  and  “falling behind .”

One note here: students preparing for the IELTS  often ask if they should use  idioms  (like “you're barking up the wrong tree”) in their essays to further demonstrate their grasp of the language. In my opinion, no, you shouldn't. Idioms are informal by nature and not appropriate for a written essay of this type. Stick with demonstrating your range of vocabulary and your ability to use phrasal  verbs  correctly!

Grammatical range and accuracy

The final scoring dimension is related to grammar and grammatical structures – do you know them and can you correctly use them?

The Band 9 description for grammatical range and accuracy :

• Uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor errors occur only as slips

Note that there is nothing in the scoring criteria about including specific tenses or sentence constructions. Your main objective should be to reduce the number of mistakes that you make. An essay that contains no mistakes is likely to get a 9 for grammar, regardless of the types of sentence that it may or may not contain.

If there is a nice mix of long and short sentences in your IELTS essays, you'll meet the grammar requirements. Remember, as soon as you write a “long” sentence you are naturally going to use connectives (linking words), which will make the sentence ‘compound' or ‘complex'. So, don't think too much about the grammar – just aim to reduce the number of mistakes that you make, and try to include a few longer sentences.

Some examples from the sample essay that illustrate the writer's grammatical range and help it easily score as a band 9 include:

• appropriate uses of modal verbs in the passive voice:  “are further developed,” “will be covered,” “must be acknowledged,” “should be swapped.”
• “ to focus on ” is correctly followed by an -ing form
• However  is used correctly with a semicolon before it and a comma after
• “ because of ,” “rather than,” and are correctly followed by -ing verbs

5 Tips for an IELTS writing task 2 band 9 essay

1. answer what is being asked.

Make sure you read the prompt carefully and answer the essay questions you’re being asked. I can’t emphasise this enough. In order to score well on Task Achievement, you need to appropriately and fully address the task.

2. Plan your work, work your plan.

Plan out your essay before you start writing. What are your main points? What order are you going to make them in? How do they link together? Having a well organised essay is key scoring high marks for Coherence and Cohesion. Many IELTS test-takers will spend up to 10 minutes planning out their essay before they start writing. A few points to keep in mind:

• Your essay should have 4-5 paragraphs in total and at least 250 words
• Plan your supporting points so that they don’t go off-topic

3. Write, review, re-write

Write your essay, review it and then “rewrite” it. Don’t focus on getting things perfect upfront – you don’t want to waste 15 minutes trying to come up with the perfect synonym for something and then not have enough time to finish your full essay! Write your essay first (an unwritten essay won’t score well at all!) and then go back through it to see how you can improve it. Some essay questions to ask yourself at this stage:

• Are there places where you can swap out stronger words for weaker ones in order to improve your Lexical Resource score?
• Are there places where you can phrase things differently in order to illustrate your Grammatical Range?

4. Where are you falling?

To pass with a Band 9 the reality is you need two sets of skills:

• Exam skills
• Language skills

What are exam skills?

Can you plan an effective essay? Quickly? Ideally between 3-5 minutes.

Can you think of enough ideas and examples to put in the essay plan?

Firstly you need to discover which of these skills you need. To do this you get feedback, either from an online IELTS essay checker or for more detailed feedback you can use our IELTS essay correction service .

The main goal is to find out which part of the essay writing process is costing you the most amount of time, points or stress.

Personally, the easiest and fastest way to get these skills is to do an online course specialised in training students with these skills. Here is a good course for that.

5. Better language skills?

A lot of students fail the  IELTS exam or end up with a band in their IELTS writing test that does not meet their requirements. Also, a significant number of students look to Google to search for “IELTS Writing tips” or “Task two tips”. These tips might be helpful but sometimes the real problem might just be in their general language or writing skills.

Writing error-free perfect sentences is probably much more challenging than students think, especially under exam conditions i.e in 40 minutes with immense pressure to pass. These can result in often mixed outcomes with both positive or negative development occurring at one and the same time.

One of the most important ways to improve language skills is to receive feedback. This can be by asking someone to review written work and will expose the positive or negative development mentioned earlier. This is very common and not something that is a negative issue overall.

Have a look at our essay correction service that will review your essays for you and help you improve and pass the IELTS test.

Here is a checklist of what is needed for reaching Band 9, it includes what the examiner wants to see, and what to do to write at a Band 9 level.

Sample IELTS writing task 2 question (2)

Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions.

IELTS writing task 2: essay sample answer (2)

The global phenomenon of urbanisation from the beginning of industrialisation to the present day has brought opportunity and prosperity, albeit at a cost in the quality of life. With an increasing city population, the complexity of the challenges also increases for the globe as well as the local community. Therefore, the causes and effects of these on the current generation, as well as possible solutions are outlined below.

The causes for the decrease in the quality of life are paradoxically the prosperity endowed on such metropolitan centres. Their growth is largely due to the increase of opportunities on offer, which in turn increases their attractiveness, essentially they are trapped in a positive self-reinforcing cycle. While such developments have a positive impact on immediate economic objectives, it perpetuates behaviours that can have a negative impact in the long term.

However, this eventually leads to a decrease in the quality of life as the city can experience overcrowding, exorbitant property prices, and increased vulnerability to terrorist attacks. For example, the density of London makes it a more efficient place to attack, when compared to a smaller city such as Bradford.

Therefore, due to continuous growth and prosperity, urban citizens, especially the less well off, often experience a lower standard of living. Even greater than this, are the relevant examples of natural disasters such as recent fires in Australia, which brought about unprecedented weather patterns resulting in the destruction of wild and rare animals. These effects are far from uniform, as they affect different countries in ways unseen by previous generations.

Considering the solutions, greater investment in public transport would ease traffic congestion, as would bike lanes. In theory, this would reduce air pollution, and possibly improve the well-being of the population if they did adopt a more active lifestyle and cycle to work. While these solutions are local, if adopted globally, would affect individuals and many countries alike. A collective effort is needed to use social networks and other media to highlight the negative effect of urbanisation as well as the negative sides of the wider ramifications on the population.

To conclude, while it could be argued that urbanisation advantages outweigh the disadvantages, a wealthy city attracts a large population inflow, which then causes pressure on existing infrastructure and security. Various solutions exist to mitigate such drawbacks, such as social networks being used to raise awareness of such negative impacts on many countries, nevertheless an indefinite solution has yet to be found.

Sample IELTS writing task 2 question (3)

Social media marketing can influence what consumers buy. Do you agree or disagree? To what extent do you agree?

IELTS writing task 2: essay sample answer (3)

Since the introduction of social media applications in the early 2000's the world has become a much smaller place. Social media applications such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter have become information sources for a majority of the global market.

As such, it could be argued that marketing, which happens to be a source of information accessible on these platforms can influence the consumers who use them. This notion is further aided by the rise in online retail stores that conduct the bulk of their transactions online. This makes it easier for the consumer to purchase from anywhere in the world.

As a consumer on social media, you are constantly bombarded with advertisements of various products that are specifically designed to catch your attention. This means that most of the adverts on your news feeds aren't random and will almost always feature something you have previously searched online or something currently popular or trending. Given the fact that most social media users are young consumers who are influenced by current trends and happenings, these adverts will almost always catch their eye.

The habit of sharing, retweeting and liking also ensure that these adverts get around, quite fast. As such, when an advert does reach your news feed you have already probably seen it on your friend's news feed. The truth is, adverts are a form of information and with the age of the internet, information spreads faster than a wildfire.

Therefore, it only makes sense that in the era and age of technology, globalization and the need to be trendy, social media marketing can influence what consumers buy.

Useful definitions of advanced vocabulary used

Paradoxically

Equivalent sentences

“For example, it is said, the CCTV in London has foiled many potential attacks, and therefore greatly increased the security of its citizens.” Could also be said as:

“Statistics show that CCTV used in London has scuppered many a terrorist plot, massively contributing to the security of its citizens.”

More Equivalent sentences Various solutions exist to mitigate such drawbacks, nevertheless an indefinite solution has yet to be found.

Could also be said as:

A myriad of partial fixes exist for these issues, yet a permanent solution is still out of reach.

There are many methods employed to quell this flow of people, but still a reliable solution has not been discovered.

IELTS writing task 2: vocabulary booster

The highlighted sections in the following paragraph represent key phrases or words relating to this topic. Study this paragraph to expand your vocabulary knowledge on this topic:

The modern urban environment varies considerably depending on both the city that produces it and the individual who perceives it; Each experiencing a unique blend of at least some economic success, varying degrees of localised or wider deprivation and periods of growth and decline. Environmental factors permitting, a city will provide well for its citizens as long as it can properly manage the execution of social policy.

Globalisation presents many challenges for those responsible for the policy as large inflows of people are to be expected in a place of success and therefore opportunity; The ensuing mixing of cultures has far-reaching social consequences that can affect how the city is both presented and perceived.

Considerably Con·sid·er·a·ble (kən-sĭd′ər-ə-bəl) adj. 1. Large in amount, extent, or degree: a writer of considerable influence. 2. Worthy of consideration; significant: The economy was a considerable issue in the campaign.

Perceive Per·ceive (pər-sēv′) tr.v. per·ceived, per·ceiv·ing, per·ceives 1a. To become aware of (something) directly through any of the senses, especially sight or hearing: We could perceive three figures in the fog. 1b. To cause or allow the mind to become aware of (a stimulus): The ear perceives sounds. 2. To achieve understanding of; apprehend: Einstein perceived that energy and matter are equivalent . 3. To regard or consider; deem: an old technology that is still perceived as useful; a politician who is perceived to be untrustworthy.

Deprivation Dep·ri·va·tion (dĕp′rə-vā′shən) n. 1. The/an act or an instance of depriving; Loss . 2. The state of being deprived: social deprivation; a cycle of deprivation and violence.

“The town’s generally miserable appearance led her to perceive it as a place of considerable deprivation.”

IELTS writing task 2: further reading

There are many more writing samples for you to explore.

The BBC has great pages on discursive writing and general writing , also, this video is good for learning how to give examples.

You can even read a sample Harvard essay aimed at preparing students for academic writing.

Remember! Select a text that is appropriate for your level. Choosing the wrong text can result in a loss of confidence and feeling bad never helped anyone to learn anything quickly!

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Optimize Your Writing: Try Our Online IELTS Essay Checker

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Additional IELTS writing task 2 resources

• The University of Manchester Academic Phrasebook provides guidelines and examples of how to introduce essay topics, discuss findings and write conclusions
• The University of Birmingham Guide to Academic Writing provides tips on paraphrasing, in addition to how to plan, structure and write an essay
• Use these useful sentences for IELTS Writing Task 2 .
• This page is good for sample essay topics and answers, also for Task Two.

IELTS writing essay task 2 Sample Band 8 The writing part of your IELTS exam is a great place to score some extra points, especially if you are looking to score within band 8. Here is a task 2 writing sample to help you do just that.

Vocabulary for IELTS Vocabulary is probably the most important part of preparing successfully for IELTS. It is used for both the speaking and writing part of the exam. Click here to view some essential vocabulary.

General essay topics The IELTS exam has a number of general essay topics that span a number of disciplines ad subject matters. To have an idea of what to expect check out our list of general essay topics.

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IELTS essay samples for band 9

Find IELTS essay examples, crafted to help you understand the nuances of Task 2 and achieve a Band 9 score. From structure to samples, we've got you covered.

Are you aiming for excellence in your IELTS Writing ? Essays with a band 9 are identified by their excellent consistency, sophisticated language, and perfect grammar. These essays effectively address the task with well-developed arguments and a clear structure, showcasing a deep understanding of the topic.

Whether you're a beginner looking to improve or an experienced test-taker seeking that extra edge, this guide will provide you with IELTS essay samples and examples to help you achieve a band 9 in your IELTS test. So, let's delve into the world of high-scoring essays and discover how to take your writing prowess to new heights!

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Step by step guide for scoring a band 9 in IELTS Essay task

Here’s a step-by-step guide to scoring well on IELTS Essay Task 2:

Understand the task requirements : Read the prompt carefully to understand what’s being asked. Determine whether you need to write an opinion, discussion, or problem-solution essay. Note any specific instructions, word limits, or key points you need to address.

Plan and organize your ideas : Spend a few minutes brainstorming and generating ideas related to the task. Create a clear outline, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Organize your ideas logically and choose the main points for each paragraph.

Write an engaging introduction : Start with an interesting opening to capture the reader’s attention. Provide background information on the topic and clearly state your thesis or main argument, which will guide the rest of your essay.

Develop coherent body paragraphs : Begin each body paragraph with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea. Support your points with relevant examples, facts, or evidence. Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to maintain coherence and flow.

Showcase language skills and vocabulary : Use a wide range of vocabulary and grammatical structures . Express your ideas clearly and accurately and use cohesive devices like linking words to connect your ideas.

Conclude effectively : Summarize the key points from the body paragraphs in your conclusion. Restate your thesis and provide a clear closing statement. End with a memorable thought or a thought-provoking question.

Revise and edit : Set aside time to review your essay for grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, or typos. Check for coherence and clarity and make necessary revisions to enhance the overall quality.

Practice time management : Allocate time wisely for each task (Task 1 and Task 2).

Practice writing essays within the time limit to improve speed and efficiency. Monitor your progress and adjust your writing speed as needed.

Seek feedback and improve : Share your essays with a teacher, tutor, or native English speaker for feedback. Identify areas for improvement and focus on refining those skills. Regularly practice building confidence and improve your technique.

By following these steps and practising consistently, you can enhance your performance in IELTS Writing Task 2 and work towards achieving your desired band score.

IELTS essay samples for achieving a band score of 9

Below are several IELTS essay samples that exemplify the high language proficiency required for a band score of 9. These samples can provide valuable insights into the standards needed for top scores. Please remember that these are for reference purposes only and should not be copied directly.

Latest IELTS essay examples

Ielts essay writing sample: advantages and disadvantages of technology in education.

Introduction : In recent times, technology has significantly impacted the education sector, bringing both advantages and challenges. This essay will explore the benefits and drawbacks of integrating technology into education and will argue that the positive aspects outweigh the negatives.

Body Paragraph 1 (Advantages) : A key benefit of technology in education is the expansion of learning opportunities. Interactive multimedia tools enable students to access a broad range of information and resources, facilitating a deeper understanding of complex topics. Technology also enhances student engagement and supports active learning through personalized and interactive teaching methods.

Body Paragraph 2 (Disadvantages) : Despite these benefits, using technology in education has some drawbacks. For example, excessive dependence on technology may reduce face-to-face interactions and impede the development of important social skills. Additionally, the presence of inaccurate or biased information online can challenge the reliability and accuracy of academic sources.

Body Paragraph 3 (Benefits Outweigh Drawbacks) : Nevertheless, the advantages of technology in education far surpass its drawbacks. Integrating technology helps bridge traditional teaching with the digital era, equipping students with the skills required for careers dependent on technological proficiency. Technology also supports distance learning, reaching students in remote areas or those with limited access to educational resources.

Conclusion : To sum up, technology has revolutionized education by enhancing learning opportunities and fostering student engagement. Although there are some disadvantages, the benefits of integrating technology into education outweighs the drawbacks. Educators should maintain balance between traditional methods with technological tools to optimize the effectiveness of both.

IELTS essay Writing sample: The impact of global warming on the environment

Introduction : Global warming, primarily driven by human activities, is a major issue with extensive environmental consequences. This essay will show its effects on the environment and argue that immediate action is necessary to address its harmful impacts.

Body Paragraph 1 (Temperature Increase) : One major effect of global warming is the global rise in temperatures. This increase contributes to the melting of polar ice caps and glaciers, which leads to rising sea levels and more frequent extreme weather events, such as hurricanes and heat waves. Additionally, higher temperatures disrupt ecosystems, threatening various plant and animal species.

Body Paragraph 2 (Biodiversity Loss) : Global warming also poses a serious threat to biodiversity. As temperatures rise, many species face difficulties adapting or migrating to suitable habitats, leading to their decline or extinction. The resulting loss of biodiversity undermines ecosystem stability, as each species plays an important role in maintaining ecological balance.

Body Paragraph 3 (Environmental Degradation) : Another impact of global warming is environmental degradation. Rising temperatures contribute to ocean acidification, which damages coral reefs and marine ecosystems. Furthermore, increased carbon dioxide levels create oceanic dead zones, harming marine life. Deforestation, driven by the need for resources and agricultural land, worsens global warming by decreasing the Earth’s ability to absorb carbon dioxide.

Concluding Paragraph: To conclude, global warming has significant effects on the environment, including temperature rise, biodiversity loss, and environmental degradation. Urgent and collective action is required to combat this issue, such as reducing greenhouse gas emissions, adopting sustainable practices, and protecting natural habitats. Through concerted efforts, we can mitigate the effects of global warming and safeguard our planet for future generations.

These IELTS essay samples illustrate the structure, vocabulary, and coherence needed to achieve a band 9 score. Practice writing within the time limits of the IELTS test (40 minutes for the writing section) to enhance your skills.

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IELTS Band 9 Essays

Do you know the difference between an IELTS Band 6 essay and an IELTS Band 9 essay for Writing Task 2?

Most IELTS students don’t, and this is what prevents them from getting the scores they need.

What does an IELTS Band 9 Essay look like?

An IELTS Band 9 Essay is one that shows the examiner that you are an expert user of English.  The official IELTS scale describes an expert user in the following way:

“The test taker has fully operational command of the language. Their use of English is appropriate, accurate and fluent, and shows complete understanding.”

In writing, this means you need to achieve a band 9 in each of the four IELTS marking criteria:

Task response

• Coherence and cohesion

Lexical resource

Grammatical range and accuracy.

Here is a description of the marking criteria for an IELTS Band 9 Essay for Writing Task 2:

That’s quite complex, so I’ve simplified it for you:

• Answer all parts of the question
• Present relevant ideas
• Fully explain these ideas
• Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Coherence and Cohesion

• Organise your ideas in logical paragraphs
• Include an introduction and conclusion
• Use cohesive devices (also known as ‘linking words’) accurately
• Don’t use too many or too few cohesive devices
• Vary your cohesive devices by using synonyms
• Try to vary your vocabulary, using accurate synonyms
• Use less common topic-specific words that accurately convey meaning
• Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
• Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
• Use a variety of appropriate structures
• Check your writing for errors

If you want to know more about the marking criteria for other bands, you can download the full Writing Task 2 band descriptors here.

Watch my video below for the biggest differences between an IELTS Band 6 Essay and an IELTS Band 9 Essay.

Opinion essay  

Band 9 essay sample  .

To see a lesson on the question above, click here .

Discussion essay  

Band 9 essay sample .

Problems and solutions essay  

Advantages and disadvantages essay  

There are two types of advantages and disadvantages questions:

• Type 1 – Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.
• Type 2 – Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

For more information about these two types of questions, have a look at our page here .

Band 9 Essay Sample (Type 1) 

Band 9 Essay Sample 1 (Type 2) 

To see a lesson on both of the questions above, click here .

Double Question essay  

Band 9 essay sample.

What about Task 1?  What does a Band 9 Task 1 answer look like for IELTS Academic and IELTS General Training?

Just like for Task 2, a Band 9 Task 1 answer needs to show the examiner that the test taker is an expert user of English who can respond fully to all of the marking criteria.  

For more information about how to write a Band 9 Task 1 answer, have a look at our page for Writing Task 1 . 

If you’d like to see the marking criteria for IELTS Task 1, you can download a full description here .

For more about the difference between IELTS Academic and IELTS General, check out our page about IELTS preparation here or this page on the official IELTS website .

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7 IELTS Essay Samples of Band 9 Students

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Is it even possible to write a Band 9 essay in IELTS?

Well, it is certainly possible. In fact, not only have I scored a band 9 in writing myself, I have also helped several of my students score band 9 in writing too. If you want to learn the art and science behind scoring an IELTS writing Band 9 (or if you just want to improve your score by a few bands), read on.

Every day we receive 100's of IELTS essays for correction from our students. Our experienced IELTS tutors go over every single word of the essay and mark them based on the criteria specified in the IELTS Band Score Descriptors.

Since a lot of IELTS students struggle in the writing section, we thought we would list out the IELTS Band 9 essay samples that we have seen from our IELTS Twenty20 Course students so far. An important thing to note is that the students who wrote these essays went through several feedback rounds with other essay topics where they perfected the art of writing a good IELTS Task 2 essay. So don't get intimidated if you think you cannot write such essays. Everyone struggles with it and it takes time to improve.

But, before we look at the IELTS Band 9 essay samples, let's first understand how to write the perfect IELTS essay.

How to write an IELTS Band 9 essay?

In IELTS Writing Task 2, you are given brief details of an opinion, an argument or a problem, and have to produce an extended piece of discursive writing (an essay) in response.

You need to write at least 250 words and should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Let's look at a step by step process on how to write a great writing task 2 essay every time ... no matter what the topic.

What are the different types of IELTS essays?

Understand the IELTS writing task 2 marking criteria

When IELTS examiners mark your essays they refer to the IELTS writing band descriptors . Here's what the band descriptors mean in plain English.

Identify the main topic of the essay

• If you incorrectly identify the main idea then you  CANNOT  score above Band 4.
• If you present a main idea that is not sufficiently developed and supported by examples then you  CANNOT  score above Band 6.

Identify all parts of the task

• If you address only some parts of the task and not others then you  CANNOT  score above Band 5.
• Even if you identify all parts of the task correctly but fail to cover each of them fully you  WILL NOT   be able to score above Band 6.

Present a position/opinion

• If you do not express a clear position then you  CANNOT  score above Band 5.
• If you do not write a conclusion at the end you  CANNOT  score above Band 5.
• If your conclusion is unclear or repetitive then you  CANNOT  score above Band 6.

In other words, if you want to score Band 7+, you need to consistently, accurately and appropriately demonstrate the use of all 4 points highlighted above.

Did you think that was all ... nope there's more ...

Even if you do all of the above there is still a chance that you may not be able to score above Band 7. In order to really ensure Band 7+ you need to master  the 4 C’s of Essay Writing .

The 4 C's of Essay Writing

Cohesion  - refers to words and phrases that help link ideas together.For example:

• Because of this ....
• It is clear that ...
• It can be seen ... etc.

Conciseness  - Long sentences do not mean more marks. Run-on sentences will often cause you to lose marks in this area. There are three sentence structures you should be using:

• Simple sentence  - Contains a subject and a verb and expresses a complete thought. For Example - The teacher returned the homework.
• Complex sentences  -  Has an independent clause (simple sentence) joined by one or more dependent clauses (cannot stand alone as a sentence) For Example - The teacher returned the homework after she noticed the error.
• Compound sentences  - Two simple sentences joined by a coordinator (ex. for, and, or, yet, so). For Example - The teacher returned the homework so everyone got to go home early.

Coherence  - How easy is your essay to understand? In order to improve your coherence, proper grammar is a must. You are not there while the essay is being marked, so your ideas need to be clear and easy to understand. Using the cohesive phrases mentioned earlier, can improve the coherence of your essay.

Composition  - The structure of your essay (introduction paragraph, 2-3 body paragraphs, and a conclusion paragraph). A good introduction includes a little background on the topic, a thesis statement, and a preview of the 2-3 main points of your essay. Each body paragraph should include a topic sentence illustrating your point, an example of your point and how it ties into your topic sentence, as well as a concluding sentence that ties this point into your thesis.

Conclusions should reiterate your two or three main ideas from your body paragraphs an restate your thesis again using different words than before. To end your conclusion, you should give a prediction or recommendation on the essay topic.

Note: Remember a proper paragraph has at least 3-4 sentences. Each paragraph should revolve around a main idea, and when you start a new idea, you should start a new paragraph.

How to identify the main topic and all parts of the IELTS essay?

This tutorial will teach you the key steps to identify the main topic and all parts of the IELTS Writing Task 2 question.

Follow the 3 steps mentioned in the video and you will never go wrong.

How to brainstorm and organise your ideas for IELTS writing task 2?

Once you have identified the topic and question parts for your writing task, the next step is to brainstorm ideas that should become part of your essay. In order to get a good band score it is not enough to just create a list of ideas - you need to extend and explain each of those ideas in detail. Lets look at our example from before:

This tutorial will teach you how to brainstorm and extend your ideas for IELTS Writing Task 2 question.

Tips for writing an IELTS band 9 essay

Here's a check list for Writing Task 2. Follow this check list and you are guaranteed to score Band 7+ in IELTS Writing.

• First off, read & understand the topic of the essay for Writing Task 2.
• Identify all the key parts of the question.
• Brainstorm and organise your ideas to ensure that each of your ideas is fully explained and well supported with examples.
• If the question asks for your opinion, make sure you state it clearly and you don’t contradict that view throughout the rest of the essay.
• Learn the structure of an essay: Introduction , body paragraphs, conclusion
• Do not copy the question word for word for your introduction or else those words will be deducted from your total word count. Instead always paraphrase the question in your own words.
• You MUST write a conclusion/overview at the end. Don’t add new information in your conclusion. Instead, rephrase your key points, and give a strong ending sentence that ties everything together.
• Always write in a formal tone and use it consistently throughout the essay.
• Do not use bullet points or short notes.
• Use a wide range of grammatical structures and vocabulary.
• Remember to follow the 4 C's of essay writing.
• Practice and learn synonyms so your writing has a range of vocabulary and does not become repetitive.
• Write at least 250 words. Anything less, you will lose marks.Ideally the essay should be about 250-280 words.
• Write neatly, as the person who is marking your essay should be able to easily read and understand what you have written.
• Do Task 2 first, as it is worth twice as much as Task 1, so priority should be placed here.

Practice makes perfect. Write as many practice essays as you can, and have them marked by an English teacher for mistakes.

• Practice timing yourself at home, and stick to the allotted time for each section. During the real test, bring a watch and manage your time carefully.
• Check your writing. If you finish with extra time, look over your essay for any spelling, grammar, or other mistakes you might find.

Popular Topics for Writing Task 2

Topics for IELTS writing task 2 are usually related to some issue or problem that is currently affecting society and you need to discuss it. In recent IELTS exams, topics have mostly dealt with:

• Environment
• Animal rights
• The Internet

Frequently asked questions about IELTS Writing Task 2

Q: Will I lose marks if I write too many words (400-500) in my essay? 

A: There is no penalty for writing more than 250 words for writing task 2. However, there are also no extra marks for writing more. In fact, the more you write, the more you may end up making spelling or grammar mistakes. It is much better to write around 280 words within 35 minutes and spend the last 5 minutes reviewing your work for mistakes.

Q: Will I lose marks if my handwriting is very poor? 

A: In IELTS, handwriting does not affect your scores directly. The scoring rubric does not have any points for handwriting. However, it affects your score indirectly. i.e if your handwriting is illegible, the examiner will think that you have misspelled a word and will mark you lower on lexical resources. The examiner will not give you the benefit of doubt if she is not sure about the words you have written.

Moreover, handwriting also affects the overall impression on the examiner. Remember that IELTS examiners are humans and like all humans they form their first impressions looking at your handwriting. The clearer your work, the better first impression you will make on the examiner.

Click here for recent IELTS exam topics and questions from all over the world

Finally, here are the 7 examples of band 9 essays.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 1 -Fresh water demand causes and measures

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 2 - Forests are the lungs of the earth

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 3 - Job and money

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 4 - Aim of University Education

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 5 - International Tourism

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 6 - Image is a more powerful way of Communicating

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 7 - Work or travel between finishing high school and starting university

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Band 9 IELTS Essay # 1:

The environmental problems that today's world is facing are so great that there is little ordinary people can do to improve the situation. so government and large organizations should be responsible for reducing the amount of damage being done to the environment., band 9 ielts essay # 2:, some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely., band 9 ielts essay # 3:.

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IELTS Solution Essay Band 9 Model with Useful Tips

The IELTS Solution Essay is a common essay to get in Writing Task 2. You will be given an issue in the essay question and then presented with one or two questions to answer. The questions will decide what your task is. Knowing your task is essential for a high score in Task Response, which counts for 25% of your marks. All essay lessons and model essays on my website for writing task 2 are for both Academic and GT writing task 2.

Types of IELTS Solution Essay

There are three kinds of IELTS solution essays.

Solution Essay

IELTS will give you a problem that exists in the world today and then ask you what solutions you can offer. There are various different wording for this. Below are three examples:

• What solutions can you offer?
• What measures can you suggest to tackle this problem?
• How can this be resolved?

Cause Solution Essay

For this essay, you will be presented with a topic, such as increasing urban populations. You will then see two questions which ask you to give the causes of the problem and solutions to the problem. Instructions can often be paraphrased. Below are two examples:

• What are the reasons for this? What solutions can you suggest?
• Why is this happening? What can be done to tackle it?

Problem Solution Essay

This is less common and is often confused for the Cause Solution Essay so watch out and pay attention to the word. You will be presented with an issue, such as more people moving to urban areas for work. You will then see two questions. Below is an example of how those questions can be worded:

• What problems does this cause?
• What answer can you suggest to deal with it?

IELTS Solution Essay Tips

• Identify the type of solution essay you have.
• Spend time analysing the topic given. Most people rush to form their ideas and don’t prepare supporting points. This is a mistake. Planning is crucial. You are being marked on your ideas and how they are explained and illustrated so spend a few minutes making sure you’ve got it all planned.
• Once your ideas are formed, think about how to organise them into paragraphs and how to organise supporting points within the paragraph. Many people think that only paragraphing is marked for organisation, but actually the order of supporting points is also marked. Your aim is for coherence.
• Think about language. How will you paraphrase words for the topic and what words will you use to express solutions and causes (if required). Poor paraphrasing (risky paraphrasing) is one reason people fail to get band 7 in their Vocabulary for writing task 2.
• Always have an introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion. Never ever miss the conclusion. Always make sure you have time to write it.
• Pay attention to the content and length of paragraphs in the model essay below. All the model essay on my website are safe to use as a guide for how to write your IELTS essay. Even for people aiming for band 9, they are still safe to use.

IELTS Solution Essay Model Answer

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

A large number of criminals who serve their first prison sentence, leave prison only to reoffend. This is mainly because of the lack of rehabilitation and difficulty finding regular employment once released. There are a number of solutions which should be implemented to deal with criminals who reoffend.

Firstly, the reason for most first-time offenders committing crimes again, once they have been released from prison, is due to the lack of rehabilitation whilst in prison. In other words, offenders are not given a chance to retrain and learn new skills for their future or develop a deeper understanding of correct moral behaviour and instead mix with other criminals, which only strengthens their criminal intentions. Secondly, repeat offending is also owing to the difficulty in finding employment after being released. As a result, many of them struggle financially which leads them back to crime, regardless of the consequences.

There are two effective solutions to the problem of repeat offenders. One way to tackle this is to ensure that all criminals entering prison are given the chance to retrain with useful skills which will hopefully ensure them a job after they have served their sentence. By doing this, it will help them reintegrate back into society and give them some means of supporting themselves financially. Another method of dealing with criminals who reoffend is to have more supervision and checks in place when they are back in society. This solution would hopefully prevent them from taking any chances and deter them from reoffending because they are being so closely watched.

In conclusion, regardless of the reasons for reoffending, having skills training and education in prison as well as closer observation for newly released offenders can be effective in preventing criminals from committing crimes again.

VOCABULARY FOR THIS TOPIC: Word List for Crime & Punishment Topic

Examiner Comments:  This essay addresses the task completely. All parts of the essay question have been covered with relevant ideas. Both causes and solutions have been well-explained. Ideas are logically organised and there is a flexible use of linking devices, which help sign post the direct of the essay. There is a range of sentence structures and also tenses. Vocabulary is also flexible with a good range of less common words that allows for precise meaning. Essay Length: 290 words

RECOMMENDED FOR YOU: IELTS Problem Solution Essay IELTS Opinion Essay Model IELTS Advantage Disadvantage Essay Model IELTS Discussion Essay Model Over 100 IELTS Essay Questions All Model Essays & Tips for Writing Task 2  

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Hi Liz, Could you please answer my question? In the sample essay, you wrote both causes in one paragraph. Is it correct? I was taught that one paragraph should contain only one idea, which is written in the topic sentence. Also, how many causes and solutions should I write? Is it okay to write one cause in first paragraph and one solution in the second paragraph?

These are all good questions.

If you look at the band score descriptors published by IELTS and look at the marking criterion of Coherence & Cohesion (which is about paragraphing and linking), it doesn’t say “one central idea” for each paragraph, it says “a central theme”. Most teachers paraphrase this to students as “one idea” because it’s easier to explain and understand it that way, but that isn’t the full picture. It is really about one theme. For an Opinion Essay where you must present points supporting your opinion, each body paragraph will tackle one point which is actually one main idea. But for advantages/disadvantages or cause/solutions essays, each body paragraph will tackle all your advantages or all your solutions or all your causes. These are grouped together into one body paragraph as a central theme. So, putting all your causes together is logical, organised and follows the higher level band score requirements of having a central theme.

About your other point of how many causes you need, certainly if you have only one cause then your whole paragraph will focus on that and your next body paragraph can focus on solutions, in which you may have one or two solutions. It is not recommended to have more than two causes or two solutions because your aim is to extend and develop each point sufficiently for a high score so having more than two doesn’t really allow you to do this.

Thank you so much for your answer. I was confused for so long, but you made it much clearer for me.

It is true that punishment do not deter offenders from committing more crimes There are several factors contributing to this but government can certainly take steps to address these issues.

On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why people keep committing crimes even after punishment. Firstly, unemployment issues can be a factor to this. In other words, offenders who are unemployed are likely to repeat or commit another crime after serving their punishment if they do not have anything doing to bring them income. As a results of making earns meet some may be tempted to steal in order to meet this demand. Secondly, neglection can be another factor why offenders keep committing crimes. For example, an ex-convict is likely to be rejected and stigmatized by society and this individual can find him or herself back into prison due to lack of love and support from friends and family.

On the other hand, measures such as government creating jobs can go a long way to tackle this problem. For example, if the government support ex-convicts through job creation and other beneficial programs, it will help reduce crimes as these people will be busy with their work schedules and business activities. Another point to consider is to educate the public about stigmatization and also encourage family and friends to provide support i.e physically, emotionally, psychologically and financially to these people for them to feel loved and accepted back into the society. This can help prevent them from going back to offenses that might end them up in prison.

In conclusion, factors such as unemployment and neglection can increase crimes in society, however, various methods can be put in place to solve this problem.

Dear Liz I hope you are doing well. I apologize for getting straight to the point with my question. For this solution essay, do I only need to write the solution in the conclusion without addressing the cause? The title mentions both the cause and conclusion, so I am a bit confused.

Sometimes it isn’t possible summarise all supporting points for the causes and all supporting points for the solutions in a short conclusion. And of course, you don’t want a long conclusion because it’s a waste of time and doesn’t help your score. So mentioning some ideas specifically and then referring in general to the others is the best way. I’ve just edited the above conclusion in the essay above for you to show you a good way to resolve this problem. Take a look again at the essay.

hi mam! if i am asked to give only solutions, how many remedies do i have to write down? and how can i place my solutions in both paragraphs ? should i put them into single para? or should each para have only one remedy? could you please clarify this?

If you are asked for solutions only, each body paragraph will contain one solution. All paragraphing is based on logical organisation.

Hello Liz, I hope you’re doing well.

Firstly, thank you for your channel; it has been very beneficial for me during my IELTS preparation!

The question I want to ask is, I think I’m confusing solution essays with opinion essays. For example: “Mental health is becoming an increasingly important topic in society. What do you think are the main contributing factors to mental health issues? How can individuals and communities promote mental well-being?”

I initially thought it was a solution essay, but now I believe it should be an opinion essay. I would be thrilled if you could help me with this.

Thanks for everything!

This is one of the problems when you try to give a name to every type of instructions. An opinion essay is when you are given a statement that is an opinion, such as “Some people think fast food should be banned to reduce the number of obese people.” This is an opinion from “some people”. An opinion essay will ask you to present your opinion as a response – do you agree? / to what extent do you agree? / do you agree or disagree? / what is your opinion?. For these types of essays, you must present a clear opinion such as “I believe that banning fast food is a good method but not the most effective because there are other ways to reduce obesity.” (that is a clear opinion). If you don’t present a clear side, a clear position, a clear opinion, you will get a low score. Any why do we use “I” or “my opinion” – it’s because we are separating “some people think” and “I think” – we are separating two opinions in the same paragraph – one that belongs to other people and one that belongs to you. If you didn’t do this, having two opinions in the same paragraph gets confusing.

However, if the instructions only say “What do you think are the main causes” – you are not being asked to evaluate. You are not being asked to present your opinion of someone else’s opinion. You are not being asked for a position. You are not being asked “do you agree with this solution?”. You are only being asked to give causes. So, whether the instructions say “What are the causes” or “what do you think are the causes” – it’s the same. You only need to present two causes (usually two). So, whether you write “I think stress and poor work-life balance are the causes ….” or “stress and poor work-life balance are the causes …” – it’s the same answer. You’ve given the causes.

So, the only real task you have to do is follow the instructions and understand what your aim is with the essay. Try not to get into a panic about the names given to essay types by teachers.

hello Liz thanks for your ideas and i need one of the introduction that i can use all kind of essays such as adventage and disadventage , problem solution , agree and disagre or etc. please reply my comment .thanks for your answer.

You will need to go to a teacher who teaches such terrible things. There is no one sentence or introduction for all essays, unless you are happy with band 5.5 or under. If you want band 6 or above, you’ll need to learn techniques for introductions for each type of task 2.

Dear Liz, Thank you for this clarification…… To my mind, one of the principal hardships that candidates are subjected to is to identify CORRECTLY what is being asked from them in the written part. IELTS is a sophisticated test. Considering that your level of English is O.K, then your main obstacle is to stay sharp (after 1.5 hours of screen time already) and apply the right essay format to the question. Unfortunately, losing focus and addressing the essay inappropriately, might result in band scores below 7. Lads, read the questions carefully, underline facts and what is being asked, write down supporting points (each paragraph presenting a single idea), organise those logically. God Almighty please help us! I wish i’d found this website earlier. God bless your heart Liz <3

Hello Liz, I hope you are doing well and that your health has improved. First of all, thank you for everthing, you are an outstanding person. I have a question please, in problem and solution type, should problems be in one paragraph and solutions in another ? or can i write a problem and its solution in a paragraph and the another problem with its solution in the second paragraph ? Thanks in advance

There is right or wrong in this case. You are being marked on logical organisation rather than a fixed organisation. So, both would be possible.

In this contemporary world, there is an increase in the number of criminals significantly after serving their first prison sentence. They intended to commit more crimes due to a lack of moral behavior rehabilitation at the prison or results from difficulty in getting jobs because of poor skills performance. However, there are many solutions to prevent crime by helping them to get a job. Also, training them to learn new skills.

Firstly, several factors lead to crime inside the prison, its environment and contact with other prisoners have a major impact on the criminal’s mental and physical behavior. For example, they learn from the lousy prisoner how to deal with the drug abuser and sell it. Therefore, there is an increase in offensive crimes. Secondly, the criminals do not have financial support, and face difficulty getting a job, even when they are employed, their jobs are usually of low wages, and they cannot afford their living expenses. All these factors play a role in criminals intending to re-offend. There are Nemours solutions to tackle these issues. Initially, the prisoner should be educated and rehabilitated with moral behavior and treated for psychological problems such as depression or anxiety. Lastly, the prisoner must train to gain skills. To illustrate that, improving them in computer skills or construction building. That leads to getting better jobs and becoming dependent on their self. In addition, the government should be supporting them financially to prevent crime. In conclusion, after careful analysis of this problem and recommended different solutions. All these measurements will help to decrease the number of the crime.

Great essay. Well done 👍🏾

Even though prisons are set up to reduce further crimes in the first place, it is common for first time offenders to carry out more crimes once they have been released. This essay will examine the main reasons of recidivism and possible solutions for this problem.

Prisons as criminal school and their focus on retribution rather than rehabilitation are the two main drivers of relapse in criminality once released. Firstly, incarceration gives opportunities for inmates to meet with other like-minded people, bulking up their criminal skills which can later be used for future crimes. For example, a bank robber in lock-up can swap stories with other bank robbers, making them better bank robbers in the future. Furthermore, most of the prisons worldwide simply lock people up while little or no attention is given in reforming convicts into good people who have a deep understanding of correct moral behavior. In other words, most ex-prisoners lack means and tools necessary to survive in the society after their release. For instance, lack of skills for finding jobs ultimately leads to them struggling financially which leads them back to crime, regardless of the consequences.

Two of more possible addresses to this issue include establishments of reentry programs and the government providing subsidies for newly released prisoners. If reentry programs which emphasize on occupational trainings, social trainings and drug and alcohol rehabilitations are available to those serving terms, the likelihood of carrying out further criminal activities will definitely be less. The chance of ex-prisoners standing on their feet after the life behind bar depends on the ability of the government to provide aids and reliefs to them. Hence, the national and structured supports will be beneficial in preventing recidivism.

To conclude, prison environments can be criminogenic while focusing on nurturing prisoners to survive after the sentences will reduce the number of people committing more crimes after their time spent in captivity.

Many criminals, who serve their first-time punishment, offend after they are being released from prison due to the lack of rehabilitation and difficulty in finding a job once they are released. There are several solutions which should be implemented to deal with criminals who reoffend.

Firstly, most of first-time offenders tend to commit more crimes once they are released due to the lack of rehabilitation during their staying at prison. Those criminals are not given the chance to retrain and improve their skills or even to develop their moral behavior. Instead, they are mixed with other criminals who can strengthen their criminal intentions. This makes those criminals offensive and just thinking of committing crimes rather than doing good deeds. Secondly, when these criminals are released, they will face financial issues since they don’t have experience and skills to let them work in a job. Thus, they start looking for a source of money, but the only way to collect money is by committing more crimes such as stealing, fraud, or even murdering. This leads to the reoffending cycle again.

A lot of criminals getting out of prison tend to commit more crimes than before they were first arrested. This phenomenon can be caused by the unhealthy environment in which they were held during the time serving their crime. A solution to this problem would be to ensure a better mental health for prisoners expecting to be released and to continue follow them once they are out.

The poor conditions in which prisoners are being held does not help them understand their mistake. On the contrary, an environment of violence persists between the criminals, as many fights and aggressions happen within the establishment. For example, a person that was arrested for a minor crime, such a dealing drug, will be influenced in a bad way by other more dangerous criminals. Therefore, when getting out of jail, instead of having grown from the punishment, the former drug dealer will be transformed into a rapist or a murderer.

To counter this issue, it is essential to introduce a system of therapy for the prisoners. As they understand the consequences and the gravity of their actions, and as they learn to combat their negative inner thoughts, these criminals will become better people. After that, it is also crucial to follow them for a few months once they reintegrate society to make sure they do not repeat their actions. This can be done by tracking them with a foot bracelet.

To conclude, the presence of violence in prisons is what pushes prisoners to become more dangerous. Helping them evolve and growing mentally is the best way to make their return to society safe for everyone.

There is no doubt that first time criminals commit same or different crime again after coming out of jail. In this essay, I will discuss the reason for this and what could be done to solve this problem. When lawbreaker goes to prison, first time, they are not rehabilitated properly, and lesson is not learned for them. They are not trained for any skill which can help them outside to apply for a job. On top of this, when they are mixed with other criminals, they encourage them for more crimes. Its like they found what they wanted, the same mentality people. Also, these people are not scared of law because of many loopholes in the law, which they use to come out of this, and some time punishment is not that severe, and this results in fearless criminals. There could be multiple steps can be taken by government and the society. Firstly, Government should consider making the law stricter which can bring fear among criminals and deter them from committing crime again. Secondly, when first time prisoner serves jail term, he should properly rehabilitate so that he can understand the difference between good and wrong. He should also understand the moral values of society. Rehabilitation should also include training for some important skills, which can enable them to get job outside. If he is not trained for any skill, he will remain the same person and will be very easily attracted to commit crime again for his needs like money or food. Finally, criminals should be categorized depending on their crimes and criminals with less intensity crime like pick pocketing shouldn’t be mixed with criminals with high intensity crimes like murder. In conclusion, prison should be place for bringing moral improvement in prisoners and making them better person and not only completing the punishment terms. If these solutions are implemented by government, the crime rate would drop significantly.

A huge number of prisoners often commit more crimes after being released from prison and this is due to lack of proper rehabilitation and inability to secure a sustainable employment and a means of livelihood. However, there are solutions to this problem of repeated crimes of offenders after serving their first punishment.

Firstly, there is a need for adequate retraining of prisoners with relevant skills before needed to sustain them after being released; this will go a long way in checkmating their excesses upon integration with other people in the society. Furthermore, assisting them with finances to help build on the skills learnt will be of great help in cubing this problem.

Secondly, offenders released should be gainfully employed so that they don’t become a threat to other persons. In addition, they can also be assisted to start up a business and proper supervision for a period of time, this is to ensure that they don’t do otherwise from the trainings and support they have received. Finally, If a thorough and proper mental rehabilitation is extensively carried out on offenders while in prison and armed with the relevant skills needed, repeated crimes will be reduced to the barest minimum In conclusion, If a good number of persons have a means of earning a living, crime will be thing of the past, so all efforts is to ensure that people are highly engaged in meaningful ventures so avoid crimes even

Firstly, most of first-time offenders tend to commit more crimes once they are released due to the lack of rehabilitation during their staying at prison. Those criminals are not given the chance to retrain and improve their skills or even to develop their moral behavior. Instead, they are mixed with other criminals who can strengthen their criminal intentions. This makes those criminals offensive and just thinking of committing crimes rather than doing good deeds. Secondly, when these criminals are released, they will face financial issues since they don’t have experience and skills to let them work in a job. Thus, they start looking for a source of money, but the only way to collect money is by committing more crimes such as stealing, fraud, or even murdering. This leads to the reoffending cycle again.

There are two effective ways for dealing with first-time offenders. One way is to ensure that each offender entering prison must be retrained. The government should prepare a working environment for those criminals to improve their skills and give them experience in a field that will help them in assisting themselves in the future. In addition, a series of lectures must be given to develop their moral behavior. Another way for reducing the number of criminals from reoffending is by keeping an eye on them after they are being released from prison. This will frighten those criminals from committing crimes because the police or the government are watching them closely. In conclusion, retraining criminals by engaging them in jobs and giving them awareness lectures in addition to keeping an eye on them after they are released would hopefully solve the problem of reoffending criminals. If government applies these solutions, crime figures would soon drop.

The reoccurrence of crime after convicts serves their first punishment made the legal process that they ought to go through before returning to society seems ineffective, making it logical to question jail time and a necessity to keep track of offenders reintegration in order minimize the possibility of them breaking the law again.

Firstly, the significant number of people reoffending after getting caught is mainly due to the difficulty of finding a job as past offenders, and with having no source of income prior to spending time with other criminals, it gets harder for ex-felons to follow the law as they been wired mentally to see pass the rules in order to survive in prison. For example, a case that made controversy in Algerian newspapers told the story of a guy that been jailed for a minor drug use felony, and had to turn to drug dealing in order to put food on his table as reintegration made impossible to him and to a lot of cases that were faced with the similar faith.

The inefficiency of juridical punishment as a way to prevent crime from reappearing made it clear that the missing piece of the puzzle was reintegration programs, that aim at providing newly released prisoners with jobs and following their progress in the period that follows their release, such programs are already present in the USA and they proved to be the best approach to deal with such issue.

in conclusion, the high rate of crime among ex-offenders and skepticism with regards to traditional ways of dealing with this phenomenon put the light on the importance of re-integration programs as a key solution to make these people good citizens again.

My take on the essay :

After several months or years of serving punishment for their criminal activities, many offenders face difficulty in leading a normal life.In the face of public eye, once an offender always an offender whom they believe has a higher tendency to repeat their crimes. Upon exiting the correction center, offenders need to earn money to pay for their accommodation, bills, buy groceries, food and other necessities.

However, finding a job with past criminal records is a big challenge and struggle for the offenders. Many people wouldn’t immediately employ anyone with such criminal records, because they will have trust issues with the offenders. For instance, any offenders having past criminal activities such as frauding, stealing, or even attempted murder, the employers would be afraid to hire them as the offenders may repeat their crimes. Additionally, the offenders wouldn’t have enough past experience or the right skill needed for the job.Hence, from an employer’s perspective they wouldn’t want to hire people from such a criminal background and least experience instead of regular people.

Similar trend is observed in landlords who deny leasing an apartment or rental units to offenders due to the same reasons. Therefore, upon facing many hurdles and embarrassment in continuing a regular life, offenders resort to crimes to feel empowered over the judgements thrown by the public.

In order for this cycle of crimes to stop from happening, the government needs to take several measures to correct this issue. Firstly, job training and general handy skills can be taught to offenders in the correction center which will be useful for job application in the future. Secondly, offenders should be given a chance to continue their education by distance learning so they are equipped with necessary skills and knowledge. Thirdly, to tackle the accommodation problem, the government can allocate a housing allowance or prepare a housing center for anyone having trouble finding a stay upon their release.

In summary, if the government is able to provide a protection plan for the offenders after their release, this group of people will not repeat their crimes, hence able to break the cycle of second crimes. Also, society needs to create awareness to treat these offenders equally as regular people instead of judging them for their past actions.

Use criminals, transgressors, law breakers etc

It is true that a considerable amount of criminals commit more crimes after they finish their first sentence. There’re various reasons behind this phenomenon, and I believe the prison administrative and society should both take measures to tackle the problem. It is often the case that poverty leads to crimes. Some people may commit crimes such as stealing or fraud because they are poor and need money to survive. Moreover, poor people may not have enough money to go to school and thus are deprived of the chance of learning useful skills and getting a good job. If these conditions are not improved when they go out of prison, they might find themselves in a dilemma to solve the problems by crime again. Some may even get worse influences in prison, owing to the lack of discipline and guidance there. Prison is always filled with dangerous and violent people, who might be a bad influence on other minor-crime offenders. There’re several means to help mitigate the problem. Firstly, Government should provide some prisoners with essential education and help them learn useful skills. Therefore when they finish their sentence, they can try to find a decent job with the skills they learned, without having to go back to crimes to serve themselves. This will also help them blend into society and build healthy relationships, which also decreases the chance of committing crimes. Secondly, Prisons should conduct stronger disciplines to constrain violent behaviors. In this way, prisoners can serve time in a peaceful environment and have more time to reflect on their wrongs. In conclusion, offenders commit crimes after serving time is not only because of the bad environment in prison but also because the lack of education and social support for them to earn a living by proper skills. Government should take various measures to tackle the problem.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.

What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In recent days the cases of obesity are tremendously rising up at the same, their fitness and health is dramatically declining. In this essay im going to give a brief explanation about causes and solutions.

On the one hand, intake of junk food and avoiding appropriate nutritional foods are major reason to cause obesity. firstly, presence of high level of fats components in oily food leads to gain bad cholesterols in body. To illustrate, those who consume high level of oil foods are encountering with obesity. Moreover, gaining overweight as a result of refusing good deits like protein intake, carbohydrates intake,fibres and so on. For instance, low intake of protein cause to rise the weight. Consequently, people will triggered by obesity is they follow against appropriate deit.

On the other hand, people must aware about their suppliments concern and follow the regular exercise. Consuming food with all the nutritional value shows a better results. Furthermore, participating daily in physical activities like sports,gym, running will burns bad cholesterol. For example, people who follows physical activities are more healthier and fit than non-participants.Hence eating healthier food and burning calories shows better improvement.

To conclude, eating more fat content foods leads to develop overweight.while, people should develop their passions toward health and physical activities.

[ please Evaluate my essay and give band ] thanku!

dear Liz, can you give me a favour? what score can you give me for this essay? Despite environmental concerns raised by scientists, people are not changing their lifestyle. Why is this so? What should be done to encourage people to do more to save the environment? These days, it is becoming increasingly common for scientists to take care of the environment, while citizens tend to ignore this problem. The excessive trust in scientists and the development of this world can be the main reasons behind this issue. However, the situation can be reversed by following the appropriate solutions. To begin with, perhaps the major reason why people are not changing their lifestyle can be the extreme belief of scientists. Since the 20th century, a numerous innovation, which had successfully deal with some problems faced us, has been produced by researchers. Therefore, people may tend to disregard the issues of our habitat and think that scientists will solve these problems. Moreover, the advancement of technic technology, which affects the environment harmfully, such as cars, may not provide us to take caring of habitat. For instance, to delivering crucial items to each other, there is no way to use vehicles. Development may result in persons ignoring their nature. Turning to the possible solutions, the authorities and scientists could raise awareness for people as to why we should focus on the environment. The governments may be funding an advertisement about the importance of habitat and broadcast them on television and the internet. Furthermore, the researcher can organize campaigns about what should we do to tackle environmental problems among the population. If these provisions initiate among society, people will pay attention to not only their habitat but also their actions. To conclude, people’s trust in scientists and the accelerating world are the main reasons behind why people are disregarding the circumstances. Therefore, to tackle this problem, the government and scientists should organize activities about awareness of the surroundings among the people.

Hey Elizabeth, I really appreciate the efforts you put into collective learning Any reader is welcomed to evaluate my Essay, Hope you have a wonderful day 🙂

In a world filled with cherished experience, where god has cast a spell balancing good and evil. Thus, with the copious of malevolent people who stay resilient to jurisdiction, there has been an effective curiosity about how they involved in convicting crimes even after their previous punishments and what measures can we take into account for thwarting the issue. It is glaringly obvious that the limited awareness of one’s actions or sometimes lack of affection in childhood can precipitate such insolent behaviour, thus deep and thorough introspection and a positive environment for children must be encouraged to avoid such conditions. A punishment is incomplete without realizing the consequences of their actions, and thus it is important to believe in the effects of every interaction. On the edge of the materialistic world, the people tend to intentionally ignore or pay a little attention to the corollary of their own actions, and therefore any punishment not involving looking back on themselves is futile. Another major cause of imprudence is caused by childhood trauma or a negative family environment. A study shows that the majority of criminals tend to involve in criminal activities even after atonement if they have been flourished in the dearth of affection. Thus, it makes it clear that the major cause of resilience is the result of limited introspection and uninhabitable childhood experience. Moreover, people should take efforts to fight the malevolent brain to sustain a positive society. Every jurisdiction must include the importance of teaching the problems that victims might have undergone and make them find the mistakes they committed. Moreover, the life of a child begins with a family, thus proper care should be taken by parents to ensure that their child is given sufficient attention and love. Which can guarantee an effective decrease in the crime rate before or after their punishments. To sum up, it is evident that limited awareness and poor family relationships when mixed with the evil mind can bear a resilient criminal, and thus proper steps must be taken into account like teaching the thorough knowledge of introspection and encouraging parents to build and maintain a positive environment at home.

Thanks for sharing. Got a chance to learn more words from your essay.

Hello liz. Your website is not less than a jackpot for persons , who are preparing for ielts exam. I was reading one of your sample essays and now I have 3 interrelated questions.

1) is it important to give examples in each body paragraphs ? ( I am curious to know because you didnot write any examples in that essay)

2) if we donot add examples then can we loose marks?

3) can we make our own examples to add. ( for eg: an article published in “the times” stated that ………. ) or ( A recent study conducted in the USA revealed that ……..)

( I hope my questions are making sense)

You should use examples as you wish and when you wish. you can choose to illustrate your ideas in other ways rather than just with examples. As I said, you can choose to illustrate in other ways. You won’t get a higher score because you give the source of information. This isn’t an university essay. IELTS do not care where the information comes from. So, don’t waste your words on something that won’t increase your score. For the above essay, it would have been possible to add an example of types of crime – ie minor crime and major crime. However, this essay is already very well detailed and explained so it requires nothing more. We often use examples to illustrate a point in more specific detail to facilitate understanding.

Hi Liz I observed that you paraphrased first punishment as prison sentence. The punishment for a crime is not always prison sentence.

It’s important to look at all the words in the sentence and also pay attention to collocations. The verb “serve” relates to prison sentences.

In a few latest comments from almost a year ago, I can see your health hasn’t been so good. I really hope you’re doing well 🙂

Also, if you could please, I have a query- In a Cause/Solution essay, can I organise my points in the below mentioned way or it doesn’t bode well for task response criterion?

Introduction para BP 1 Causes- point 1 + supporting points BP 2 Causes- point 2 + supporting points BP 3 Solution- 2 points and supporting points Conclusion para

I’d like to mention here that I’ve developed both ideas well but in order to avoid making Causes para too long, I broke it down to two body paragraphs.

This organisation is not logical. The causes are 50% of the essay and the solutions are 50% of the essay. However, with your paragraphing, you have given about 66% to causes and 33% to solutions. This is something to avoid. The task given to you will help you plan paragraphs.

Hi dear liz I’m confused, you said Roma’s 3 paragraph structure is wrong while your essay on happiness; the sample essay for direct question type is comprised of 3 paragraphs, first one answers the first question and the second and third ones answer the second question!!!!

In that essay, the first question is simple. However, the second question asks for “factors” (plural) – it needs more space to extend and explain multiple factors.

Dear Mam, Please clarify my confusion about the use of deter in last sentence of 3rd paragraphs. Why it is not “deters”, instead of “deter” ? Another doubt about ” are released are effective” that you used in second line of conclusion. I am unfamiliar about such kind of sentence structure. Please clarify.

You are doing great job mam, Salute!!! Wish you good health.

This is because the sentence in full is: “This solution would hopefully prevent them from taking any chances and would deter them from ….” When we write like this, we do not have to repeat certain words in the second clause. The grammar tense is also ready presumed from the first clause.

Liz. I just found your site, really this is very much informative. So I am really interested reading with this site thank you

Hi Liz, I hope I find you better. I have got a query on the way you paraphrased the background statement. The statement says ‘first punishment’ but you paraphrased it as ‘first prison’. Is it not possible for the first punishment be in other forms such as community service, fine, etc

You are referring to the paraphrase “first prison sentence” which means first punishment in prison. This whole issue is about re-offenders and this is all about prison, not community service. There are no world issues about community service or paying a fine teaching people bad habits which cause them to re-offend. While it isn’t stated, it is presumed. Also the word “serving” is used with prison, not with fines or community service. We do community service and we pay a fine, but we serve a prison sentence.

In the speaking test, this is something you could talk about in part 3. You could dispute the question. The examiner would probably interrupt you and paraphrase it to bring you on topic. In writing task 2, you must understand immediately. Yes, it is true that you need to look at holes in the essay question – ie is this referring to only young children or all children or all people. But with this essay question, it is about prison, not paying a fine.

can we use active voice and passive voice in the same sentence.

please reply me as soon as possible.

It is thought that people will …. That is a passive voice with an active future tense.

Hy Liz. Thank you for your great info on IELTS I am a bit confused about cause , solution and give reasons for your answer. Are the reasons not part of the causes

You have two tasks – causes and solutions. The word “cause” can also be paraphrased as “reason”. The above essay provides causes and solutions – this means the task is completed.

Saddened to hear from you that. How are you now? I pray God to bestow you with all the good health

Thank you for your kind words. I’m still sick, but not as sick as I was a few years ago. I hope this upward trend will continue next year 🙂

My friend and I took our exam about 16 days ago, and finally we got the reault what we wanted(9-8.5-7.5-7). Your videos were extremely beneficial for my writing. Thank u so much. ❤

And the sad part was when I was watching ur videos and your sickness popping to my head… I dont know what u r coping with right now, but Im sure u will conquer it soon. 😍

Best regarda,

Ahmad and Rana

It’s lovely to see both of your results. Very well done to you both 🙂 Thanks for your message about my health. I really hope to be well in a year or so – I have learned the importance of patience and determination which I’m sure many IELTS test takers will be familiar with 🙂

God will touch you with healing hands ! Get well soon!

Dear Ahmad, kindly please send those video to me in order to prepare for my exam after the lock down,i would have been requested for the videos,but the situation here in Nigerian is not palatable.

The videos are available for free on this site. Go to the HOME page and select the part of the test you wish to study for free. You will find free videos, practice exercises, tips, topics, model answers etc etc. OR use the RED MENU BAR at the top of the website to access those sections.

Hi Liz If I write an essay in the comment box, could you please check my writing.

Sorry I don’t offer that service. I like to help but I don’t have time to comment on writing.

Hello dear Liz. I’ ver purchased all your advance videos, yet I wonder why I cant find the vidoes related to cause/solution and direct question essay. Dont you have any videos discussing those two types?

BTW, you are so popular in my country 🙂 ❤

Unfortunately, I became very sick after making those video lessons and my health has not recovered enough since then to make more. I’m hoping later next year I might be able to make videos again, but it isn’t certain. Glad you like my lessons 🙂

Ohhhhhh! 😔😔😔☹☹☹ So sad to hear dear Liz. I really, really hope you get better so soon, and whatever ur problem is gets solved. Next year, which will be after my exam, I’ll be waiting for ur new vidoes, so that I see u r alright 😊

BTW, I’m really excited that u replied🙈😅

Thanks and good luck with your test 🙂

Praying for your health!! you are such a blessing and an excellent teacher.

Liz, you are going to get through this. Let me tell you why. Through your perseverance and your positive mindset, you have become extremely adept at finding solutions to problems that have brought most people down. You’ve aced limitations like these in style and have helped others do so. Moreover, you’ve been a constant guide to a lot of us, giving us the direction, motivation and drive to perform well. We pray and root for your good health knowing full well that our teacher’s going to get a 9 on this test.

All I ask of you is to not lose hope and try to find happiness in every day and carry on being the golden-hearted-ever-smiling-hero that you are!

I don’t know what to say. I’m really touched by your comment. It brought tears to my eyes. Even though I am a very strong, positive person, things have been really tough for me at times and I often wondered if I would survive this struggle. Your comment has given me renewed strength and reinforced my determination to keep fighting for my health. Thank you many times over 🙂 We all of us need positive vibes to keep strong 🙂 Wishing you all the best for 2020!!

hi liz, i hope you get better soon,you always spread happiness and cheerful dear.you has an amazing way in teaching and conveying the information.

Thank you, Kout 🙂

Hi Liz, BIG FAN of your Teachings 🙂 I simple love all your essays, feels like they are written so effortlessly… So very clear, easy to understand, follow and logical! I am in love with the way you write and present the ideas. I have my exam day after tommrow, I hope to write an essay in exam not completely upto your level but at least a bit nearby to get a band 7. Thank you for your valuable lessons and your paid video lessons are super helpful and MUST HAVE…, Thanks again!! Godbless!

I wish you lots of luck in your test!! Make sure you review the linking words: https://ieltsliz.com/linking-words-for-writing/ . A lot of people forget to review their linking words – using them well will help your score. Also review all my last minute tips for each section of the test: https://ieltsliz.com/ielts-help-faq/

Hi Liz, Thanks, surely will read and review that. Also, Thank you so much for your wishes… It means a lot to me 🙂

Dear liz, I see you havent given a single example in this essay, how will it fulfill the task response criteria?

An example using “for example” or “for instance” is not a requirement. There are many ways to illustrate your point without giving direct examples.

Can we use phrases like “ earn our living “ in ielts essays??

What you need to ask yourself is: Is this an informal expression for informal use or is it an expression that is used in a variety of contexts, both serious and informal? Answer that question and you will know if you can use it in writing task 2. If you are ever in doubt during the test, don’t take risks.

Hi Liz, thanks a lot for sharing lots of useful tips and learning resourses! After reading this essay, I wonder if it’s possible to get band 9 in writing without giving any examples? As far as I know, we should always support ideas with examples in Ielts essays. Please help me to clarify this! Thank you!!

Examples are given if or when relevant. They are not a requirement. Also there are many ways to illustrate a point without using a direct example.

Hey miss liz, i was wondering about your writing task 2 videos, you’ve been saying all the time that we should write (mostly everything) in the academic way. Please answer me, does these rules works for the general training exam as well or what shall i do in this situation ?

The GT Essay is the same as the Academic Essay. They are both formal essays with the same marking criteria and scoring. GT essay questions are sometimes easier. But the style is the same – it is formal.

Thank you for the amazing tips. My exam is on 19th July and I am struggling with writing task 2. I am consuming a lot of time in thinking about the ideas and examples, leaving me with no time at the end to review my essay. Could you please review and provide your comments that whether the content is relevant or not, please as I have very less time left to practice. My aim is to score 7.5. Do you think the below essay is good enough for 7.5.

Q: In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Over the past few years, it has been noticed in most of the countries that the limited number of youths are interested in reading newspaper or watching current affairs on TV. There could be different reasons for the raised concern, which I will now discuss in this essay and then I will also provide the corrective measures for combating this issue.

The genesis of this problem lies in social networking sites, which has taken all the eyes of the public and it is not wrong to say that technology has fastened our lives. For instance, the life of the youth has become a challenge nowadays, which i snot just limited to success in career but also to cope up with the changing society in terms of fashion and the increasing desires. They have a lot on their list other than knowing what is happening in their countries. Also in general, most of the content broadcasted on the TV is irrelevant and newspaper have lost its meaning since the advent of the digital market.

To resolve this issue and to make our young blood aware of the importance of the news, it is incumbent to add current affairs as a mandatory subject in schools, colleges as well as in the professional settings. In addition to this, time spent on surfing the internet should be monitored, as it will help them to manage their time efficiently. Above all, the key is to inculcate the feeling of patriotism in the youth so that they could understand the importance of knowing the situation of the country and outside world.

In conclusion, knowing the fact that the majority of the young people fail to understand the necessity of news, it is the utmost responsibility of the elders to make them aware of its consequences. I understand, all news is not relevant but knowledge of current affairs would help in making up the minds for the future.

Thanks a lot for your support.

Hi Ankara, Please watch Liz’s videos on IELTS task2 they are very helpful and many people who have taken their exam rave about them. Good luck and hope this helps.

Hi Liz But the questions say give examples from your own experience. Do we still avoid them?

Examples from your experience does not necessarily mean examples from your private life. It is your experience of the world around you. The examples you give are your choice, but I am recommending that you keep a formal style and tone for your essay.

Hello Liz, Thanks for the tremendous help from your site, it has helped me a lot in my writing. Pls help me check if I paraphrased this topic properly because I think, I kind of over paraphrased it. Topic: Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped?

Introduction: There is an existence of impoverished people all over the nations of the world and each of these nations have adopted various methods in tackling the issues relating to destitute. However, lack of education and bad governance are the key reasons for global hardship, hence, adequate education and good leadership is required to aid the poor.

Yes, you over paraphrased. Keep the meaning clear at all times. Your aim is to produce perfect sentences: Different countries have different methods of tackling poverty. Poverty is caused by……

Hi Liz, In problems and solutions essays, is it fine to write a problem and its solution in first paragraph and then another problem and its solution in second paragraph?

In the case of problem/solution, the problems and solutions are directly linked and it is possible to do that.

Thanks Liz for the clarification.

liz, can i illustrate the causes in two paragraph and write the solution and conclusion on final final paragraph which is basically a conclusion paragraph

The causes are 50% of your essay task and the solutions are 50% of your essay task. If you wish to ignore the instructions and decide the causes are more important, that is your choice. But you will be failing on proper task fulfilment. This is basic common sense. IELTS is all about logical approach.

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Example of a Great Essay | Explanations, Tips & Tricks

Published on February 9, 2015 by Shane Bryson . Revised on July 23, 2023 by Shona McCombes.

This example guides you through the structure of an essay. It shows how to build an effective introduction , focused paragraphs , clear transitions between ideas, and a strong conclusion .

Each paragraph addresses a single central point, introduced by a topic sentence , and each point is directly related to the thesis statement .

As you read, hover over the highlighted parts to learn what they do and why they work.

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Table of contents

Other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about writing an essay, an appeal to the senses: the development of the braille system in nineteenth-century france.

The invention of Braille was a major turning point in the history of disability. The writing system of raised dots used by visually impaired people was developed by Louis Braille in nineteenth-century France. In a society that did not value disabled people in general, blindness was particularly stigmatized, and lack of access to reading and writing was a significant barrier to social participation. The idea of tactile reading was not entirely new, but existing methods based on sighted systems were difficult to learn and use. As the first writing system designed for blind people’s needs, Braille was a groundbreaking new accessibility tool. It not only provided practical benefits, but also helped change the cultural status of blindness. This essay begins by discussing the situation of blind people in nineteenth-century Europe. It then describes the invention of Braille and the gradual process of its acceptance within blind education. Subsequently, it explores the wide-ranging effects of this invention on blind people’s social and cultural lives.

Lack of access to reading and writing put blind people at a serious disadvantage in nineteenth-century society. Text was one of the primary methods through which people engaged with culture, communicated with others, and accessed information; without a well-developed reading system that did not rely on sight, blind people were excluded from social participation (Weygand, 2009). While disabled people in general suffered from discrimination, blindness was widely viewed as the worst disability, and it was commonly believed that blind people were incapable of pursuing a profession or improving themselves through culture (Weygand, 2009). This demonstrates the importance of reading and writing to social status at the time: without access to text, it was considered impossible to fully participate in society. Blind people were excluded from the sighted world, but also entirely dependent on sighted people for information and education.

In France, debates about how to deal with disability led to the adoption of different strategies over time. While people with temporary difficulties were able to access public welfare, the most common response to people with long-term disabilities, such as hearing or vision loss, was to group them together in institutions (Tombs, 1996). At first, a joint institute for the blind and deaf was created, and although the partnership was motivated more by financial considerations than by the well-being of the residents, the institute aimed to help people develop skills valuable to society (Weygand, 2009). Eventually blind institutions were separated from deaf institutions, and the focus shifted towards education of the blind, as was the case for the Royal Institute for Blind Youth, which Louis Braille attended (Jimenez et al, 2009). The growing acknowledgement of the uniqueness of different disabilities led to more targeted education strategies, fostering an environment in which the benefits of a specifically blind education could be more widely recognized.

Several different systems of tactile reading can be seen as forerunners to the method Louis Braille developed, but these systems were all developed based on the sighted system. The Royal Institute for Blind Youth in Paris taught the students to read embossed roman letters, a method created by the school’s founder, Valentin Hauy (Jimenez et al., 2009). Reading this way proved to be a rather arduous task, as the letters were difficult to distinguish by touch. The embossed letter method was based on the reading system of sighted people, with minimal adaptation for those with vision loss. As a result, this method did not gain significant success among blind students.

Louis Braille was bound to be influenced by his school’s founder, but the most influential pre-Braille tactile reading system was Charles Barbier’s night writing. A soldier in Napoleon’s army, Barbier developed a system in 1819 that used 12 dots with a five line musical staff (Kersten, 1997). His intention was to develop a system that would allow the military to communicate at night without the need for light (Herron, 2009). The code developed by Barbier was phonetic (Jimenez et al., 2009); in other words, the code was designed for sighted people and was based on the sounds of words, not on an actual alphabet. Barbier discovered that variants of raised dots within a square were the easiest method of reading by touch (Jimenez et al., 2009). This system proved effective for the transmission of short messages between military personnel, but the symbols were too large for the fingertip, greatly reducing the speed at which a message could be read (Herron, 2009). For this reason, it was unsuitable for daily use and was not widely adopted in the blind community.

Nevertheless, Barbier’s military dot system was more efficient than Hauy’s embossed letters, and it provided the framework within which Louis Braille developed his method. Barbier’s system, with its dashes and dots, could form over 4000 combinations (Jimenez et al., 2009). Compared to the 26 letters of the Latin alphabet, this was an absurdly high number. Braille kept the raised dot form, but developed a more manageable system that would reflect the sighted alphabet. He replaced Barbier’s dashes and dots with just six dots in a rectangular configuration (Jimenez et al., 2009). The result was that the blind population in France had a tactile reading system using dots (like Barbier’s) that was based on the structure of the sighted alphabet (like Hauy’s); crucially, this system was the first developed specifically for the purposes of the blind.

While the Braille system gained immediate popularity with the blind students at the Institute in Paris, it had to gain acceptance among the sighted before its adoption throughout France. This support was necessary because sighted teachers and leaders had ultimate control over the propagation of Braille resources. Many of the teachers at the Royal Institute for Blind Youth resisted learning Braille’s system because they found the tactile method of reading difficult to learn (Bullock & Galst, 2009). This resistance was symptomatic of the prevalent attitude that the blind population had to adapt to the sighted world rather than develop their own tools and methods. Over time, however, with the increasing impetus to make social contribution possible for all, teachers began to appreciate the usefulness of Braille’s system (Bullock & Galst, 2009), realizing that access to reading could help improve the productivity and integration of people with vision loss. It took approximately 30 years, but the French government eventually approved the Braille system, and it was established throughout the country (Bullock & Galst, 2009).

Although Blind people remained marginalized throughout the nineteenth century, the Braille system granted them growing opportunities for social participation. Most obviously, Braille allowed people with vision loss to read the same alphabet used by sighted people (Bullock & Galst, 2009), allowing them to participate in certain cultural experiences previously unavailable to them. Written works, such as books and poetry, had previously been inaccessible to the blind population without the aid of a reader, limiting their autonomy. As books began to be distributed in Braille, this barrier was reduced, enabling people with vision loss to access information autonomously. The closing of the gap between the abilities of blind and the sighted contributed to a gradual shift in blind people’s status, lessening the cultural perception of the blind as essentially different and facilitating greater social integration.

The Braille system also had important cultural effects beyond the sphere of written culture. Its invention later led to the development of a music notation system for the blind, although Louis Braille did not develop this system himself (Jimenez, et al., 2009). This development helped remove a cultural obstacle that had been introduced by the popularization of written musical notation in the early 1500s. While music had previously been an arena in which the blind could participate on equal footing, the transition from memory-based performance to notation-based performance meant that blind musicians were no longer able to compete with sighted musicians (Kersten, 1997). As a result, a tactile musical notation system became necessary for professional equality between blind and sighted musicians (Kersten, 1997).

Braille paved the way for dramatic cultural changes in the way blind people were treated and the opportunities available to them. Louis Braille’s innovation was to reimagine existing reading systems from a blind perspective, and the success of this invention required sighted teachers to adapt to their students’ reality instead of the other way around. In this sense, Braille helped drive broader social changes in the status of blindness. New accessibility tools provide practical advantages to those who need them, but they can also change the perspectives and attitudes of those who do not.

Bullock, J. D., & Galst, J. M. (2009). The Story of Louis Braille. Archives of Ophthalmology , 127(11), 1532. https://​doi.org/10.1001/​archophthalmol.2009.286.

Herron, M. (2009, May 6). Blind visionary. Retrieved from https://​eandt.theiet.org/​content/​articles/2009/05/​blind-visionary/.

Jiménez, J., Olea, J., Torres, J., Alonso, I., Harder, D., & Fischer, K. (2009). Biography of Louis Braille and Invention of the Braille Alphabet. Survey of Ophthalmology , 54(1), 142–149. https://​doi.org/10.1016/​j.survophthal.2008.10.006.

Kersten, F.G. (1997). The history and development of Braille music methodology. The Bulletin of Historical Research in Music Education , 18(2). Retrieved from https://​www.jstor.org/​stable/40214926.

Mellor, C.M. (2006). Louis Braille: A touch of genius . Boston: National Braille Press.

Tombs, R. (1996). France: 1814-1914 . London: Pearson Education Ltd.

Weygand, Z. (2009). The blind in French society from the Middle Ages to the century of Louis Braille . Stanford: Stanford University Press.

If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!

• Ad hominem fallacy
• Post hoc fallacy
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College essays

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An essay is a focused piece of writing that explains, argues, describes, or narrates.

In high school, you may have to write many different types of essays to develop your writing skills.

Academic essays at college level are usually argumentative : you develop a clear thesis about your topic and make a case for your position using evidence, analysis and interpretation.

The structure of an essay is divided into an introduction that presents your topic and thesis statement , a body containing your in-depth analysis and arguments, and a conclusion wrapping up your ideas.

The structure of the body is flexible, but you should always spend some time thinking about how you can organize your essay to best serve your ideas.

Your essay introduction should include three main things, in this order:

• An opening hook to catch the reader’s attention.
• Relevant background information that the reader needs to know.
• A thesis statement that presents your main point or argument.

The length of each part depends on the length and complexity of your essay .

A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . Everything else you write should relate to this key idea.

A topic sentence is a sentence that expresses the main point of a paragraph . Everything else in the paragraph should relate to the topic sentence.

At college level, you must properly cite your sources in all essays , research papers , and other academic texts (except exams and in-class exercises).

Add a citation whenever you quote , paraphrase , or summarize information or ideas from a source. You should also give full source details in a bibliography or reference list at the end of your text.

The exact format of your citations depends on which citation style you are instructed to use. The most common styles are APA , MLA , and Chicago .

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If you want to cite this source, you can copy and paste the citation or click the “Cite this Scribbr article” button to automatically add the citation to our free Citation Generator.

Bryson, S. (2023, July 23). Example of a Great Essay | Explanations, Tips & Tricks. Scribbr. Retrieved August 28, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/academic-essay/example-essay-structure/

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IELTS Task 1 Band 9 – Writing sample

Ielts task 1 band 9.

Below is a sample IELTS Task 1 question and a model answer. The answer is estimated to get a Band 9 Score. Have a look at the answer first and then we can look at it in more detail.

source: IELTS Buddy

The table below shows the estimated oil capacity of six countries, in millions of barrels per day, from 1990 to 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Write at least 150 Words.

Model Answer The bar chart illustrates the estimated amount of oil produced in 6 countries between 1990 and 2010, measured in millions of barrels per day. Overall, oil production capacity tended to increase during this 20-year period. The figures for Saudi Arabia were significantly higher than in the other countries, while production was lowest in Qatar. From 1990 to 2010, there was a significant increase in oil production in Saudi Arabia. In 1990, just over 8 million barrels per day were produced and this rose steadily, reaching a peak of over 14 million barrels per day in 2010. In contrast, the smallest producer was Qatar. Despite a slight increase in 2000, production in Qatar remained relatively stable at less than 1 million barrels per day. The other countries saw a slight rise in oil production over the period. The estimated figure for Iran in 1990 was over 3 million barrels per day, compared with around 2 million barrels in the other three countries. Although production did not increase in 2000 in the UAE, the amount of oil produced peaked in 2010 in Iran at over 4 million barrels and at almost 4 million barrels in Iraq, Kuwait and the UAE. (198 words)

IELTS Task 1 Band Score 9

Task achievement: 9, coherence & cohesion: 9, lexical resources: 9, overall score: band 9, paragraph 1.

The opening paragraph has all the key information about the graph but it paraphrases the question. This is very important. Make sure you use synonyms and rephrase your answer. For example, in this case:

“shows” to “illustrates”

“oil capacity” to “amount of oil”

“from 1990 to 2010” to “between 1990 and 2010”

Paragraph 2

This paragraph gives a clear overview of the chart. The overall trend is that the capacity increased, but there is a big difference between Saudi Arabia and Qatar. This paragraph demonstrates an excellent knowledge of the required grammar and vocabulary. “Tended to increase”; “20-year period” (and not 20-year s period); “significantly higher than”.

Paragraph 3

This paragraph goes into detail about the two most significant countries: Saudi Arabia and Qatar. It follows clearly from the previous paragraph which has highlighted these two countries. All the key vocabulary to describe movement in a graph is used correctly (“significant increase”; “rose steadily”; “reaching a peak”; “remained relatively stable”). There are two sentences about Saudi Arabia and then two about Qatar, correctly using the linking phrase “in contrast”. The paragraph is very well structured and cohesive, with no grammar mistakes and an excellent range of vocabulary.

Paragraph 4

Paragraph 4 gives details about the four remaining countries. Again, all the language for describing a graph is accurate – “saw a slight rise”, “peaked in 2010”. The prepositions are also used correctly (something students often mix up) – “a rise in production”, “ in 1990”, “compared with” , “peaked in 2010 in Iran at over 4 million barrels”  

This answer displays everything needed for a Band 9 answer on IELTS Task 1. The answer is clear and well-structured with a skilful use of paragraphs and links. There is a wide range of very natural vocabulary needed to describe a graph and there are no spelling mistakes. There are no grammar mistakes in the answer and there is an excellent range of complex structures.

IELTS task one marking scheme:

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Community Essay Examples

When crafting your college applications, writing strong essays is essential. Through your essays, you demonstrate who you are–from your values and passions to your lived experiences. Indeed the personal statement is the most common college essay. However, you will also likely have to write some supplemental essays as part of your college application requirements. One of the most common supplemental essay types is the community essay. This essay type is also known as a describe the community you live in essay, cultural diversity essay, or community service essay.

In this article, we will introduce several community essay examples. Most importantly, we’ll describe why they are considered college essays that worked. Specifically, we will share community essay examples from the two schools:

• Princeton University
• Columbia University

By studying these admissions essay samples, you can see what makes these college community essay examples strong and apply those same principles to your writing.

Reviewing Types of College Essays

Each school has different supplemental essay prompts for their college application requirements. However, there are a few types of essays that are most common. By becoming familiar with these essay types, you can begin to brainstorm and strategize what you will write about early on. You might start as early as sophomore or junior year in high school. 

Now, let’s take a look at the most common supplementary essay questions.

Common Supplementary Essay Questions

1. why school.

A Why School essay is, as it sounds, about why you wish to attend a specific institution. The key to answering this prompt well is to be specific. You should identify examples of what you like about a school. Avoid general comments such as “it is a top school” or “it is diverse.” Share specific programs, professors, teaching approaches, cultural elements, or unique opportunities such as research or study abroad.

2. Why Major

The Why Major essay asks you to share specific reasons behind your choice of major and how it relates to your future goals. A strong response to a Why Major essay will highlight your specific motivations. But it will also connect those motivations to a school’s unique opportunities. For example, perhaps you wish to be a pre-law history major, and the school you are applying to offers law-related internships. By highlighting these specific connections, you draw a compelling connection between yourself and the school.

3. Extracurricular Activity

Many schools ask you to describe an extracurricular activity that is particularly meaningful for you. When responding to this question, do not feel limited to only talk about the most popular extracurricular activities for college applications, like clubs or sports. Consider all of the activities you do outside of school. Then choose the one that is most meaningful to you. Also, give specific examples of how you grew or made an impact within your extracurricular activities for college.

4. Community Essay

The Community Essay can have slightly different angles to it. But, the uniting factor is that the school wants to know how you engage with others around you. Some types of community essays are a describe the community you live in essay or a cultural diversity essay. In recent years, the cultural diversity essay has been a more common college application requirement.

Coming up, we will share a bit more about how to break down community essay prompts. We’ll also take a look at college essays that worked. By reading these examples, you’ll know how to approach these common prompts.

How to identify a community essay?

While community essays can have slightly different focuses, they all share the goal of learning about where you come from. A supplemental essay prompt might ask you to share more about your background via a group you are part of. This is likely a community essay. Indeed, a community essay can also be called a describe the community you live in essay, or a cultural diversity essay. Other college community essay examples focus on how you will contribute to a college campus. Finally, in a describe a community you belong to essay example, you will see that students highlight any community that is meaningful to them.

You may be wondering why so many colleges have community essays as a college application requirement. For one, many colleges use a holistic admissions process. This means they care about all aspects of who you are, not simply your grades and test scores. How you engage with your communities shows them your character and values. For example, a describe the community you live in essay example about visiting church every Sunday demonstrates your commitment to religion. Similarly, a cultural diversity essay helps colleges learn more about your cultural background. 

Additionally, colleges want to learn more about how you will engage with their on-campus community. You’ll notice this important factor in the college community essay examples we will share. To some degree, how you have engaged with previous communities can be an indicator of how you will show up on their campus.

How is a community essay different?

As we mentioned, community essays can have slightly different focuses. Some prompts ask you to write a describe the community you live in essay. These types of community essays are more like cultural diversity essays. 

Keep in mind that the word “community” can have many different meanings. A community can be your school, church, or neighborhood. It could also stem from your interests. For example, your dance or robotics team can form your community.

Some community essay prompts want to know specifically how you help strengthen your communities. These types of essays are considered a community service essay. Another term for community service is “civic engagement.” An example of civic engagement might be getting people in your cultural community to sign up to vote. Or, another could be helping with church fundraisers to ensure that your local community has the resources it needs to thrive. 

In sum, the keywords you might see in a community essay prompt are “civic engagement,” “community service,” “serve your community,” “contribute to your community,” or “diversity.” No matter how it’s phrased, your essay should demonstrate the impact you’ve had on your community–whichever one you choose to highlight. 

What are some examples of community essays?

In this article, we will share several community essay examples. Specifically, we will highlight Princeton essay examples and Columbia essays examples. Let’s look at these two colleges’ essay prompts. 

The first Princeton supplemental essay prompt is a part of our college community essay examples and our cultural diversity essay examples. Here is the prompt:

Princeton Community Essay Prompt #1: Cultural Diversity Essay and College Community Essay Examples

Princeton values community and encourages students, faculty, staff and leadership to engage in respectful conversations that can expand their perspectives and challenge their ideas and beliefs. as a prospective member of this community, reflect on how your lived experiences will impact the conversations you will have in the classroom, the dining hall or other campus spaces. what lessons have you learned in life thus far what will your classmates learn from you in short, how has your lived experience shaped you  (please respond in 500 words or fewer.).

In this cultural diversity essay prompt, Princeton wants to know about your lived experiences. By this, they refer to any experiences that have shaped you profoundly. A lived experience can be a specific event, such as experiencing a car crash or winning an award. Or, it could be a set of experiences that resulted from life circumstances, such as being a first-generation college student or having taken a gap year .

This essay prompt will also lead to college community essay examples. Indeed Princeton wants to read about your lived experiences and how they impacted you. But, they also want to know how you will bring those lessons to the Princeton community, should you enroll . Also, note that this prompt mentions challenging ideas and beliefs via conversation. As you respond, look for ways to highlight how you have engaged in fruitful dialogue and how you would do so at Princeton.

To answer this prompt effectively, share specific examples. Additionally, be sure to answer all parts of the prompt. 

Princeton has a second supplemental essay prompt that focuses on how you engage with your community outside of the classroom. The prompt is as follows: 

Princeton Community Essay Prompt #2: Civic Engagement

Princeton has a longstanding commitment to understanding our responsibility to society through service and civic engagement. how does your own story intersect with these ideals (250 words or fewer) .

To answer this prompt well, you must highlight specific examples of how you have positively impacted your community. As a starting point, consider which of your communities you have most engaged with. How have you done so and what results did you have?

The Columbia Community Essay Prompt is another of our college community essay examples. It is a cultural diversity essay, as well. Here is the prompt: 

Columbia Community Essay Prompt: A Cultural Diversity Essay

A hallmark of the columbia experience is being able to learn and thrive in an equitable and inclusive community with a wide range of perspectives. tell us about an aspect of your own perspective, viewpoint or lived experience that is important to you, and describe how it has shaped the way you would learn from and contribute to columbia’s diverse and collaborative community. (150 words or fewer).

While this prompt is similar to Princeton’s, it also references perspectives and viewpoints. In doing so, the prompt opens you up to share opinions or values that are important to you. You might consider highlighting values in your family or community that you either hold close or disagree with. 

Note that Columbia also highlights the word “collaborative” in this prompt. This indicates that your cultural diversity essay should also show how you collaborate with others.

Which schools require a community essay?

In addition to Princeton and Columbia, many other schools have community essays as part of their college application requirements. Here are some other examples of community essay prompts:

In this UNC-Chapel Hill prompt , you must describe a specific example of how you made an impact on a community. The prompt reads:

The University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill: A Community Service Essay Prompt

Discuss one of your personal qualities and share a story, anecdote, or memory of how it helped you make a positive impact on a community. this could be your current community or another community you have engaged. (250-word limit).

In responding, be sure to highlight what community you are referencing, the specific impact you made, and what personal quality helped you do so.

This prompt from UMichigan is a describe a community you belong to essay example, as well as a cultural diversity essay:

The University of Michigan: Describe a Community You Belong to Essay Example

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (required for all applicants. 1,500 character limit.).

In addition to describing the community, make sure to share how you engage with it and what it has taught you. Remember that community is a broad term. So, for this prompt you can respond with any type of community in mind, whether physical or cultural. In contrast to the describe the community you live in essay, you do not have to be geographically close to the community you describe here.

Duke University: Cultural Diversity Essay Prompts

Duke offers students five supplemental prompts to choose from, of which they can reply to two. Of these supplemental prompts, four are examples of cultural diversity essays:

1. We believe a wide range of viewpoints, beliefs, and lived experiences are essential to maintaining Duke as a vibrant and meaningful living and learning community. Feel free to share with us anything in this context that might help us better understand you and what you might bring to our community.

2. we believe there is benefit in sharing or questioning our beliefs or values; who do you agree with on the big important things, or who do you have your most interesting disagreements with what are you agreeing or disagreeing about, 3. duke’s commitment to inclusion and belonging includes sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. feel free to share with us more about how your identity in this context has meaning for you as an individual or as a member of a community., 4. we recognize that not fully “fitting in” a community or place can sometimes be difficult. duke values the effort, resilience, and independence that may require. feel free to share with us circumstances where something about you is different and how that’s influenced your experiences or identity..

Each of these prompts is a slightly different type of cultural diversity essay, from sharing a range of opinions to not fitting in within a community. Choose the essay prompts that most resonate with you. And share specific examples that bring your cultural diversity essay to life.

In this Yale University supplemental prompt , you must choose a community that you feel connected to and describe why it is meaningful. Here’s the prompt:

Yale University: Describe a Community You Belong to Essay Example

Reflect on your membership in a community to which you feel connected. why is this community meaningful to you you may define community however you like. (400-word limit).

When responding, be sure to highlight what you have learned or how you have grown from this community. In contrast to a describe the community you live in essay, this essay can be about any community, near or far, that resonates with you. Indeed, the prompt gives you plenty of leeway in what you consider community. 

When responding to the UC system prompts , you must choose four of the eight available personal insight questions. One of the PIQs is a community service essay prompt:

The University of California Personal Insight Question: A Community Service Prompt

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place, things to consider: think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place like your high school, hometown or home. you can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community. was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community, why were you inspired to act what did you learn from your effort how did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community.

Similar to many of the other prompts, when answering this question, be sure to identify the specific impact you made on your community.

Now that we have looked at various examples of community essay prompts, we can explore community essay examples. Reading essay examples is a great way to get inspired to write your own college essays. 

In each of the highlighted college essays that worked, note what the author did expertly. Rather than trying to copy their responses, topics, or ideas, consider how you can apply those same skills to your writing. 

Princeton Community Essay Examples

In this section, we will highlight Princeton essay examples that respond to their two community essay prompts: a cultural diversity essay and a community service essay. 

The first of our Princeton essay examples responds to the following Princeton prompt: 

Princeton Essay Examples #1: Cultural Diversity Essay

Now, let’s take a look at a student’s response to this prompt focusing on lived experiences. 

Princeton Essay Examples #1 Student Response

I have spent most of my life living in a 41% minority town of 1.8 square miles called Highland Park, NJ. This typically overlooked town has introduced me to a diverse array of people, and it has been the main influence on my life experiences and core values.

In the face of distinct cultures and customs, we forge a single identity as Highland Parkers and come together to organize large community events. The most prevalent example is our highly touted annual Memorial Day parade, where we join together with neighboring New Brunswick to invite military service members, family members of our fallen war heroes, our legislative and congressional representatives, and our townspeople. Moreover, as our high school band’s vice president, I help organize and lead our ensemble into these performances with a positive and uplifting spirit. We communicate with the town government and arrange the performances every year to perform at the parade. The parade is an example of many of our large community events that serve as a unifying force for our diverse community, reminding us that we are fundamentally connected as one cohesive group, despite our differences. 

As someone deeply interested in historical and political matters, I am well aware of the consequences that arise from dictatorial protocols that limit the freedom of speech and diversity of voices. From my experiences debating in Model UN conferences, I have grown accustomed to being able to present viewpoints from both sides of the argument, and I have learned to incorporate and respect the viewpoints of all sides of an issue before making up my own mind. For example, in a Model Congress debate, I found myself advocating for the interests of a state heavily reliant on traditional fossil fuels. While researching and articulating that perspective, I gained insights into the economic challenges faced by the states that are reliant on these resources. This experience not only broadened my understanding of the complexities surrounding environmental policies but also highlighted the necessity of considering diverse viewpoints for comprehensive decision-making. 

My background and experiences have fostered in me a profound appreciation for the value of diversity, inclusivity, and the pursuit of knowledge. At Princeton University, I will seek to contribute as an active participant in the community, actively provide unique perspectives and insights, and respect and learn from others’ perspectives even if there are disagreements. I wish to partake in student government, which has like-minded peers who want to make a substantive impact, and also participate in service programs like the Civic Leadership Council. Also, I hope to increase my impact from the leadership positions I currently hold on the Red Cross club and teen mayoral advisory council using the platforms in Princeton. I look forward to making a positive impact on both the campus and the broader community. 

Why This Cultural Diversity Essay Worked

In the first of our Princeton essay examples, the student successfully responds to all parts of the Princeton prompt. They begin by describing their community and sharing some details about its makeup. Indeed, the first sentence hooks the reader–it is unique and compelling. 

Then, the student illustrates how they specifically contribute to their community each year by leading the high school band in the Memorial Day parade. They also highlight how their experience in Model UN shaped their appreciation for diverse perspectives. In sharing these two examples, the student demonstrates their leadership and open-minded thinking. Finally, the student ends by highlighting how they would use these values to contribute to Princeton’s community– by partaking in student government and Civic Leadership Council, among other activities.

In the second of our Princeton essay examples, the student responds to the second Princeton prompt which is: 

Princeton Essay Examples #2: A Community Service Essay

Princeton has a longstanding commitment to understanding our responsibility to society through service and civic engagement. how does your own story intersect with these ideals (250 words or fewer).

And, here is a student’s response:

Princeton Essay Examples #2 Student Response

My first experience with the Red Cross was when my older sister was desperately trying to recruit people to join the club during the harsh COVID year. Things were so bad for the club that I, as a freshman, ran for the position of treasurer unopposed. My first blood drive experience was marked by masks, social distancing, and low turnout among blood donors. Even many donors who showed up ended up being turned away due to health-related issues. Needless to say, it was not the greatest first high school service experience, and I admittedly started to doubt if the time I spent on this front was worth it. 

However, as we returned in person, things quickly turned around. As the vice president of the club, I helped recruit more than twice the club membership compared to the previous year, and our blood drives started to regain momentum; our blood targets have been exceeded every time since. Organizing and participating in blood drives has become a passion. It’s fulfilling, especially when I personally donate, to know that I’m actively serving the community and saving lives. I have realized that, despite my relatively young age, I am capable of making an impact through public service. I plan to continue my commitment to the Red Cross’s adult program and participate in service programs like Community Action at Princeton to serve the Princeton community and abroad.

Why This Essay Worked

In this admissions essay sample, we learn about a student’s volunteerism with the Red Cross as an example of civic engagement. This essay works for several reasons. First, it provides a specific example of the student’s civic engagement and demonstrates their impact by becoming vice president and increasing membership. Secondly, the essay provides an honest take on the struggles of this service experience, which lends credibility and authenticity to the story. 

The student also demonstrates an important lesson learned. This aligns with Princeton’s values– that students can have a positive impact on society. 

Columbia University Essay Examples

In this section, we will highlight Columbia essays examples that landed students admission to the prestigious Ivy League university. The first of our Columbia essays examples is written by the same student who responded to the first Princeton prompt above. Here’s a reminder of the Columbia prompt: 

As you read the example below, notice how the student edited their Princeton cultural diversity essay to meet the prompt and lower word count for Columbia:

I have spent most of my life living in a 41% minority town called Highland Park, NJ. This typically overlooked town has introduced me to a diverse array of people, and it has been the main influence on my life experiences and core values. 

HP has convinced me that we can build institutions that are strong and united while embracing a wide variety of voices and perspectives. It has shaped my core values of diversity and inclusion. An English teacher used to encourage me to talk in front of the class by saying even if I believed my thoughts were “dumb,” I could only enrich the conversation.

At Columbia University, I will seek to continue my contributions as an active participant in the community and look to actively provide unique perspectives and insights. Actively engaging in student groups such as ColumbiaVotes will be a big part of my experience. 

The Columbia essay prompt only allows for a 150-word response. This could pose a challenge for many students. What makes this essay among the Columbia essays examples that worked is how succinctly it completely answers the prompt. 

The response begins by hooking the reader with a relevant detail of the student’s community. Then, the student shares how this community shaped them by influencing their values of diversity and inclusion. Finally, the student shares how they would engage with a Columbia organization that also supports diverse viewpoints. Though short and sweet, this response clearly answers all parts of the Columbia prompt. 

More Community Essay Examples

The final of our community essay examples is a community service essay. Let’s look at how student framed their service experience:

“I don’t believe that’s the best way to do this.” 

The moment I thought this the first time I volunteered at my local soup kitchen was one that resulted in a drastic change. When I was informed of the way the food was being served to the public, the initial excitement that I had felt diminished. We were told that the plates would be served before anyone arrived and would remain in an area where people could pick it up and seat themselves. I felt that this method was impersonal and inconsiderate, and disappointment washed over me. 

I turned to the people that were around me and discovered that they shared the same disapproval I felt. When we agreed that a change must be made, we exchanged ideas on how to present this to the woman in charge of the program. I suggested that we should serve each person one-by-one, and only give them the food if they wanted to/could eat it. They suggested multiple ideas, including that we should offer to seat them, hold their plates for them, continue to check in on them, and dispose of their plates once they finish their meal. We believed that this way would genuinely make them feel better and would allow us to get to know some of them personally. A simple smile and conversation could be enough to improve their day. 

From this day on, the way in which the local soup kitchen serves our community has changed dramatically. This experience taught me the importance of speaking up for what you believe in. In a group setting, it is likely that there will be others who share the same end goal and are willing to contribute different ideas to achieve the goal. These different perspectives can allow you to see situations in ways that you previously hadn’t, and can result in better outcomes. It also showed me the importance of leadership.

If I had never spoken up about the way the food was being served, a change might have never happened. When you work in the group, the end goal may not be for the benefit of anyone in the group, but for others who are in need. This experience also showed me the beauty in doing good for others and making others happy, even through small things such as serving them food to their liking.

In this community service essay, the student shares their experience volunteering at a soup kitchen. Volunteering at a soup kitchen is not necessarily unique in the list of extracurricular activities for college applications. However, the student highlights several aspects of the experience that make it meaningful to them. 

To start, the student shares their experience challenging the way that food was served. The student suggested that food be served directly to attendees in order to better connect with community members. Through this experience, the student learns about leadership and working with others to achieve a common goal. This specific example demonstrates the student’s collaborative values and compassionate way of thinking, both of which are great attributes to highlight in college applications.

How To Write A Community Essay

As we saw in the community essay examples, there are several hallmarks of college essays that worked. To write a good community essay, whether it be a community service essay, a cultural diversity essay, or a describe the community you live in essay, you must start by understanding the prompt. Once you have carefully read through the prompt, brainstorm examples from your own life that relate to it. Sharing specific details and examples will make your response stronger and more unique. 

Additionally, showcase how you grew throughout your response. In each of the community essay examples we shared, the student discussed a skill or perspective they developed through their experiences. Finally, connect your response to the school you are applying to. If you are writing a cultural diversity essay, for example, demonstrate how you would contribute to the cultural diversity at that school, both inside the classroom and in your extracurricular activities for college.  

Topics To Avoid In Your Community Essay

When writing community essays, there is technically no topic that you cannot discuss. However, how you discuss certain topics is important. 

For example, in a community service essay, it is important to not come off as a savior of a community with less privilege than yourself. Similarly, if you are writing a describe the community you live in essay or a cultural diversity essay, you will want to avoid stereotyping any community. Speaking from your own personal experience as a member of a community is fine. However, generalizing your experience to the community at large can come across as insensitive to that community’s diversity. To avoid these pitfalls, have a variety of people read your community essay examples and look for these dynamics.

Additional Tips for Community Essays

We’ve highlighted the strengths in the community essay examples above. Now we will now share some more tips for making your community essays a strong part of your college applications:

Tips for Writing Community Essays

1. research the college.

When reviewing our college community essay examples, you will notice that students highlight specific clubs, programs, or groups on campus to which they will contribute. If you are specific, you demonstrate real interest in the school which adds strength to your college applications.

2. Tell a story

In each of the college essays that worked, students gave details that told a full story . This story incorporated where they come from and what they learned through their experiences. Rather than telling us who they were, the students used this particular story to show us.

As the college admissions landscape gets ever more competitive, students are sometimes tempted to read other students’ essays and copy ideas. Or, more recently, they may even want to use artificial intelligence to write their essays. However, AI and other students’ experiences won’t show admissions who you really are. Don’t worry about whether you have the best extracurricular activities for college or the most unique cultural diversity essay. Instead, talk about the experiences that truly matter to you. By being honest, you are more likely to come across as convincing and interesting. In each of our college community essay examples, students presented a true and well-thought-out response to the prompts.

Other CollegeAdvisor Essay Resources to Explore 

As you work on your college applications, you might be in search of additional resources. CollegeAdvisor has a wealth of webinars and articles that can help you navigate writing your essays. Here are a few:

More CollegeAdvisor Resources for Essays

1. short essay examples.

Some of the cultural diversity essays you may write will be short, meaning that they are 150 words or less. This article with short essay examples can help you understand how to write short and sweet cultural diversity essays.

2. Cultural Diversity Essay Examples

In this article , you will find additional examples of cultural diversity essays. Many community essays are also cultural diversity essays. As such, becoming familiar with how students write about their cultures is useful.

3. The Ultimate Guide to Supplemental Essays

In this webinar , CollegeAdvisor experts provide a rundown of how to write strong supplemental essays for your college applications. In particular, this webinar will help you decode essay prompts and make sure you answer each prompt fully.

4. Editing Your Supplemental Essays

Once you have read up on college community essay examples and written your cultural diversity essays, you might need help editing them. This webinar will provide tips for how to edit your supplemental essays effectively.

Community Essay Examples – Final Thoughts

Completing your college applications can be a daunting task, especially when you must write multiple essays. For some students, writing cultural diversity essays is challenging. These prompts ask you to dig deep and reflect upon your life influences.

In this guide to community essays, we provided an overview of what a community essay is and how to respond to the different types of community essay prompts. We shared cultural diversity essay examples and describe the community you live in essay examples. We also described what makes these essays strong and how they meet college application requirements. 

In short, the key to writing stand-out essays is to be authentic and thorough in your responses. If you need additional help writing your cultural diversity essay, seek out the support of a trusted resource like CollegeAdvisor. We are here to help you craft the best college applications that could gain you admissions to the school of your dreams!

This article was written by Courtney Ng. Looking for more admissions support? Click here to schedule a free meeting with one of our Admissions Specialists. During your meeting, our team will discuss your profile and help you find targeted ways to increase your admissions odds at top schools. We’ll also answer any questions and discuss how CollegeAdvisor.com can support you in the college application process.

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IELTS Writing Samples Task 2

The IELTS essays below will give you a better idea of how to turn your essay into a well-structured, complete-length essay.

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this., some people believe that companies should hire young people. others say that older experienced staff should be employed. discuss both these views and give your opinion., it is important to use the space in cities well thean make them look beautiful. to what extent do you agree, advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. some say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. discuss both views and include your own opinion., some people believe that students of all grades should be required to study physical education in school. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this, some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. discuss both sides and give your opinion., countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. what problems will your country face in the next ten years how can these problems be overcome, wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. to what extent do you agree or disagree, computers are being used more and more in education. some people think that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion., today,more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult,such as the sahara desert or the antarctic.what are the benefits and disadvantages for people who visit such places, students may have some problems with health such as eye strain and sleep issues because of the time mostly spent on laptop or computer. and maybe students become more adictted with social media if they use it at school and at home., the plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant., as most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual welbeing. what factors contribute to job satisfaction how realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers, poor people and those living in the rural areas find it difficult to acess university education. university should make it easy for persons from this background . to what extent do you agree or disagree., imagine you are a compliance professional charged with ensuring that a doctor’s office is hipaa-compliant. 1. how would you go about accomplishing that goal 2. who would you consult in making a plan 3. what policies and procedures would you institute, many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. it would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too.ndo you agree or disagree with this statement give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience., cycling is the healthier and more environmentally friendly form of transportation. nevertheless, cycling is getting less popular. what are the reasons for this what can be done to make cycling more popular, as the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement (re), some people think that news and media are affecting our life in a positive way while others disagree. what is your opinion give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience., a person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. to what extend do you agree/ disagree with this option, nowadays, an increasing number of people with helath problems are using alternative medicine and treatment instead of visitiong their normal doctor. do you think this is a positive or negative development., many people joint distance-learning program (study material, post, tv, internet) and study at home, some people think it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities. do you agree or disagree, some claim that studying abroad has great benefits for student's home country. to extent agree or disagree., in some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. what are the reasons for this how can people research this, nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this this be the case what could be the disadvantages of being self- employed, more and more people prefer consuming food imports from foreign countries, instead of domestically produced foodstuff. what are the reasons and solutions, some countries have become much richer than others. richer countries should now help poorer countries. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion, human society has made great technological progress in the last 100 years. some people think this also has negative effects on our life. to what extent do you agree or disagree, in some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their childen themselves at home instead of sending them to school. do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages, some people think every human being can create artworks (e.g. painting), while others think only the people born with the ability can do that. discuss both views and give your opinion.（2015/10/31亚太）, children are facing more pressure nowadays from an academic, social and commercial perspective. what are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures, in their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. why is this do you think it is a positive or negative development, some experts, believe that it’s better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school do it advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage, "fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. the idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up." to what extent do you agree or disagree, many people today find that the cost of attaining a university-level education is extremely high for the students and their families. what are the cause of this situation, and how can governments, universities and the students themselves overcome the problem, some people say that now is the best time in history to be living. what is your opinion about this what other time in history would be interesting to live in give reasons for your answer and invlude any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words., higher education can be funded in several ways including the following; 1. all costs are paid by the government. 2. all costs are paid by the student. 3. all costs are paid by the student using loan from the government that must be paid after graduation. discuss the benefits of each option. which one is the best, some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. discuss both these views and give your own opinion., demand of food is increasing worldwide. what are the causes of this what measures can the international community take tomakevsure the food supply is enough, demand of food is increasing worldwide. what are the causes of this what measures can the international community take to make sure the food supply is enough, in many countries, young people move to cities leaving their homes in rural areas for work or study. what do you think are the reasons for it do you think advantages for moving to cities outweigh disadvantages, young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults to what expand do you agree or disagree, in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. to what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages, the average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience., ordinary people they copy famous people from tv, do you think its a negative or positive development, some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. universities should make it easier for such groups to enrol. to what extent do you agree or disagree, some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. others believe that children who are taugh to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. discuss both these views and give your own opinion., ielts task 2 some people say that a person's success is as a result of the way he has been brought up by his parents. do you agree or disagree, some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. discuss both these views with your opinion, one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages, some people think it is better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. other people believe it is good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. discuss both these views and give your own opinion., the use of corporal punishment (physical hitting students) in schools is in decline, yet it should be used to improve behavior. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement, you should spend about 40 minutes on this task. reporting of crimes and other kinds of violent news on television and in newspapers can have adverse consquences. this kind of information should be restricted from being shown in the media. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement you should write at least 250 words., the media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. they should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. to what extent do you agree or disagree, car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. how true do you think this statement is what measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars, you should spend about 40 minutes on this task. many people today find it difficult to balance the demands of their work and personal life. what are the causes of this situation, and what can individuals and employers do to reduce the problem you should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience. write at least 250 words., some people believe that the internet has brought people closer together, while others think that people and communities have become more isolated. discuss both views and give your opinion, the role of prisons should be to punish criminals who have committed serious crimes. training courses and education offered to prisoners are a waste of tax payers' money. to what extent do you agree or disagree, some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. discuss both views and give your own opinion., a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words., the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words., now many big cities in the world are increasing in size. what are the problems associated with it what are the solutions to these problems, some people believe that parents are responsible for children growing into responsible citizens. others think that teachers should do this. discuss both views and give your opinion., nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. why is this case what can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience., some people believe that individuals cannot improve the environment, but only governments and big companies can make a difference. to what extent do you agree or disagree, some consumers are increasingly choosing to buy goods that are produced in their local area, rather than imported goods. what are the reasons for this is this a positive or anegative trend, some people think that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. to what extent do you agree or disagree, some consumers are increasingly choosing to buy goods that are produced in theirlocal area, rather than imported goods. what are the reasons for this is this a positive or anegative trend, some people believe that formal education is necessary for success, while others think that success can be achieved through other means. discuss both views and give your opinion., ‘children do not respect their parents as much as they did in the past. this behaviour is now having a negative impact on society.’ discuss. give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience., young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults. to what extent do you agree or disagree, with the popularity of english growing by the day it is becoming a global language. many people now neglect their own mother tongue and prefer to learn english. what are the problems that could arise if everyone adopts english as a language offer some solutions to this problem., the best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. to what extent do you agree or disagree, many people say that smoking should be banned while others say banning will not help reduce the consumption rate. what is your opinion, worker often have to retire at the age of 60 or 65. however, some people say that they should be allowed to continue working for as long as they want. what is your opinion about this, parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. what are the reasons for this is it a positive or negative development give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience., there are many different types of music in the world today. why do we need music is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays, today, some young people say that their mobile phones are the most important thing they own. do you think that the popularity of mobile phones is a good or bad thing, sciencetists predict in the near future, cars will be driven by computers, not people. why do you think it is a positive of negative development linh, some think that it is better to get information or advice from other people, while others believe one can get any information or advice from the internet or books. discuss both views and give your own opinion., several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. discuss both these views and give your opinion., aircrafts have been increasingly used to transport fruit and vegetable to some countries where such plants hardly grow or out of season. some people consider it a good idea but some people oppose it., scientists believe that computer will become more intelligent than human beings. some people find it is positive while others think it is a negative development. discuss both view and give your opinion., several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. discuss both these views and give your opinion, the two pie charts demonstrates how the local government has spent its money in different sectors in the year 2000 and 2010. the funding was fairly constant in some areas but changed dramatically in others over the course of the decade., fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. the idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up, people remember special gifts or presents that they have received. why or why not do you agree or disagree use specific reasons and examples to support your answer., task 2 men and women can never share the same responsibilities at home and in everyday life. do you agree or disagree use specific reasons and details to support your answer., you should spend about 40 minutes on this task. write about the following topic: some people believe that governments should pay for healthcare and education, but others disagree with this opinion. discuss both these views and give your own opinion. give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words., the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement, in some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. what problems does this cause, and what are some possible solutions, in some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. what problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions, some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other, some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other., some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. why are these laws introduced do you think they are a positive or negative development.

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How to Use Transition Words for Essays + Examples

Transition words play a key role in essay writing. They connect ideas, sentences, and paragraphs, helping readers follow your text easily. These words do many jobs, from comparing things to showing cause and effect. They turn scattered thoughts into a clear story.

Learning to use transition words for essays isn't just about making your writing sound better. It's about making your ideas clearer and easier for readers to understand. Let's look at transition words and how to use them well in your essays.

Understanding Transition Words for Essays

Transition words for essays are like road signs. They guide readers through your ideas. They help show how your thoughts connect, making your writing easier to follow.

The Purpose and Placement of Transition Sentences

Transition sentences do several important things:

• They make your ideas flow better
• They help readers grasp your main point
• They link sentences and paragraphs
• They show how ideas relate to each other
• They make your writing easier to read

Where you put transitions matters. They're often used:

• Between parts of an essay to sum up or introduce new ideas
• Between paragraphs to show connections or changes in focus
• Within paragraphs to link related thoughts

Here's an example: 

"The Industrial Revolution brought many new technologies. On the other hand, it also caused social problems."

In this case, "On the other hand" shows a contrast between the good and bad effects of the Industrial Revolution.

Putting transitions in the right places helps your ideas flow smoothly. For instance, transition words to start a paragraph in an essay can signal a new point or a shift in focus, preparing the reader for what's next.

Types of Transitions Words

There are different types of transition words for essays, each with its own job. Knowing these types can help you pick the right words for different parts of your writing.

• Adding information: "Also," "In addition," "Furthermore"
• Showing contrast: "But," "However," "On the other hand"
• Showing cause and effect: "So," "As a result," "Therefore"
• Showing order: "First," "Second," "Finally"
• Giving examples: "For example," "Such as," "To illustrate"

Using different transition words can make your essay flow better and be more coherent. Aithor can suggest good transition words based on what your essay is about, helping you improve your writing.

Creating Smooth Transitions in Your Writing

To make your transitions smooth:

• Use your essay's structure to find logical connections between sections.
• Put transitions where they best show how ideas relate.
• Don't use too many transition words, or your writing might sound forced.
• Try not to use the same few transitions over and over.

Remember, sometimes less is better. Using too many transition words can make your writing sound unnatural. Writing tools like Aithor can help you find places where transitions might make your essay flow better, suggesting good transition words based on your essay's content.

List of Transitions

Let's look at different types of transition words and phrases you can use in your essays:

1. Addition

Transition words to start a paragraph in an essay that add information include:

• Furthermore
• Additionally
• In addition

Example: "The new policy aims to cut down on carbon emissions. Also, it encourages the use of energy from renewable sources."

2. Contradiction

To show contrast, you can use:

• Nevertheless
• On the other hand
• In contrast
• Despite this

Example: "Many people thought the project would fail. On the other hand, it did better than anyone expected."

3. Condition

Conditional transitions include:

• Provided that
• In the event that

Example: "The company will grow bigger if the market stays good."

4. Emphasis

To highlight important points, use:

• Undoubtedly

Example: "The experiment gave surprising results. In fact, it made people question many old theories in the field."

5. Similarity

Transition words for the second body paragraph showing similarity include:

• In the same way

Example: "The novel explores themes of love and loss. In the same way, the author's previous work dealt with complex human emotions."

To show outcomes or consequences, use:

• As a result
• Consequently

Example: "The team worked very hard on the project. As a result, they finished it early."

7. Conclusion Transitions

Transition words for the conclusion paragraph include:

• In conclusion
• To summarize

Example: "In conclusion, the study shows that social media greatly affects how consumers behave."

8. Sequence

To show order or progression, use:

• First, Second, and Third
• Subsequently

Example: "First, we'll look at the data. Then, we'll explain what it means. Finally, we'll make conclusions based on what we found."

9. Location

Spatial transitions include:

• Adjacent to
• In the vicinity of

Example: "The rare plant was found growing nearby the river bank."

As you start writing, remember this important tip: use transition words carefully. While these words help make your writing easy to read, using too many can confuse your reader. Think of transition words like spices in food — they make it taste better, but too much can ruin the dish.

Your goal is to help your reader easily follow your ideas, not to create a maze of connecting words. So, when you write your next essay, remember: when it comes to transitions, often using fewer is better. Use them thoughtfully to make your argument clear, and your writing will be easy to understand and follow.

If you want to get even better at writing essays, Aithor has special features that can help you choose the best transitions for what you're writing about, making sure your essays flow smoothly from start to finish.

Happy writing!

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GCSE AQA English Literature - A Christmas Carol, (full marks) Grade 9 example essays

Subject: English

Age range: 14-16

Resource type: Assessment and revision

Last updated

24 August 2024

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3 example essays for GCSE AQA English Literature - A Christmas Carol. The example essays are on: poverty, social responsibility and redemption. These essays are only for example purposes - for you to be able to look and see the type of style and content necessary for a grade 9, and are not intended for people to copy into their exams, for which I am not to be held accountable. For authenticity purposes, I have achieved a grade 9 and full marks in all of my GCSE English Literature examinations 2022, and all 3 of these essays were written by me for practise (not used in my final exam!!). I am not to be held accountable for any small errors.

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